Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
Today, after years of telling my boyfriend I don't do anal, I agreed to try it once just to get him to stop whining about it. He was so gung-ho that he tried to force it in without doing enough "relaxing preparation" and he split the muscle around my ring. Now I need surgery. FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times, he told me, "Why? It feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence, then he then replied, "I'm not gay, I swear." FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, as we were getting ready for sex, I told my man to fuck my face, and it was great until he shoved my face in his ass, yelling, "Eat my ass! Eat it!" I had to explain that ass eating is not something I'm comfortable with. FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
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Top comments
Smeelover27 15
I was going to make a joke, butt **** it.
amanda_smith54 4
You should have just been honest and told him you didn't want to Haha
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Comments (131)
Suks2beeme 7
If you weren't in Denmark I would swear your boyfriend is my ex husband.
icepick23 12
You are mean.
sexymomma33 5
If he said sure then it sounds like he is GAY !!!!!!!!!!!! get out now... unless ur willing to share him in 3somes with men!
Pandora_UK 7
Don't knock it til you try it OP! Plenty of normal people enjoy it; it's not only for the **** industry... That said, if your guy likes the idea of both giving and receiving (again, more common than you might think) while you're dead set against it, maybe you're just not all that compatible in the bedroom, and your sex life isn't as "perfectly healthy" as you think...
Fsvb 32
Could someone please explain the OP's name-joke to me? I know a little of Perdix now, but I just.. Don't get the joke. Guess I'm stupid, but please explain, I'm very curious :P
perdix 29
I'm guessing that I've made enough jokes about anal that the OP thinks I'm really into it (which, for the record, I am not). You could have always written me to clear up your confusion.
Fsvb 32
Well, I saw that my comments were deleted, so.. I didn't want to bother you AGAIN. And I still don't understand. All I now know about this Perdix is that he invented the compass and saw and how he was killed. And that a bird is named after him. With this information, I do not understand how Perdix has anything to do with going anal.
False_Stupidity 41
Don't do it.
fulgura 10
I think you heard the question wrong. ;)
0tterp0p 2
Don't let your mouth write checks your ass can't cash.
insaneygolover 9
Anal beads work wonders
skulltorn 8
I like how 123 is a female and brought the subject up. You must be a kinky lover ;)