Kids: Today, a little girl at work was coloring a picture that said...

By zbaby - 23/05/2009 04:03 - United States

Today, a little girl at work was coloring a picture that said "Best Dad" on it. Wanting to be nice I asked her if she was making it for her dad for father's day. She looked at me with a sad face and said, "I don't have a dad..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 852

You deserved it 6 858

Kids

Broken heart

Taking sides

That's a hard no, Patricia

By ForeverAlone - 06/03/2013 22:28 - United States - O Fallon

Today, my boyfriend of a year and a half left me for another girl. Who was the only person who cared enough to comfort me? The girl he left me for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 855

You deserved it 2 789

By fcnk - 18/06/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, I took home my grandpa's ashes. I then went out with my grandma, leaving my 5-year-old at home with my 12-year-old. When I got home, my beaming 5-year-old opened the door, covered in white powder. My grandmother asked where all the powder had come from. She pointed to the empty ashbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 194

You deserved it 18 002

Make your mind up

By firedupasshole - 27/07/2020 05:01

Today, while taking to-go orders at my restaurant, a customer called saying he wanted his food well done. He even said, “Burn it to a crisp.” Which is what I told the kitchen. When he came to pick it up, he opened his food, inspected it and screamed, “Not this burned, you damn retard!” and threw it at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 475

You deserved it 126

By Anonymous - 15/08/2013 19:04 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 557

You deserved it 66 497

Start your Monday with a Song!

By inappropes - 08/07/2019 14:00

Today, I came into work early to clean equipment, with my headphones on, singing to myself. I lost track of time, and wound up with the entire office watching me belt tunes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 187

You deserved it 738

By jshsnan - 04/10/2015 23:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while trying to calm down my four-year-old son who had a tantrum in a store, a man walked up to me and said, "You couldn't have worn the condom?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 517

You deserved it 5 392

By yournick - 31/01/2011 21:23 - Canada

Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 144

You deserved it 4 803

That Monday morning feeling

By Carmen - 09/03/2020 15:00

Today, I couldn't sleep because a group of drunken guys decided to stay out all night singing Disney songs. They had loudspeakers too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 133

By What? - 19/04/2012 01:15 - United States - Needham

Today, I overheard a conversation between coworkers, during which my name was mentioned, then, "and then I followed her around for a bit, but she didn’t do it again." Everyone laughed. I've no idea what I did that was so funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 088

You deserved it 2 193

By loser - 01/03/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367 780

You deserved it 32 610

By Anonymous - 25/09/2014 12:18 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, we had a meeting at my job and we had to introduce new ideas to our boss. Earlier, I was talking to one of my close friends who also attended the meeting about my idea. As we start the meeting, she decides to steal my idea and take complete credit for it. My boss loves "her" idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 298

You deserved it 6 810

By Anonymous - 22/08/2009 19:39 - Canada

Today, I found out that the crumbs on the couch that look like the oreos you just ate, can actually turn out to be very crunchy, and have legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 989

You deserved it 46 066

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 01:53 - Australia - Rowville

Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 405

You deserved it 3 007

Alexa, play "Guess I'm Dumb" by Glen Campbell

By nasuma - 11/10/2019 20:00

Today, I took a legitimate IQ test and got a score of 80. My parents both have IQ scores above Einstein’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 399

You deserved it 274

By Anonymous - 08/01/2014 04:21 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 206

You deserved it 34 914

Mask confusion

By clairebear99 - 08/06/2021 08:01

Today, my coworker screamed at me for once again calling her by a different coworker's name. They have the same hair, skin color, and body type, so I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to tell them apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 1 384

By Torbey - 14/09/2016 03:49 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my younger brother complained yet again of soreness in his wrist. Frustrated with his constant whining, my mother turned to him and snapped, 'Well, what have you been using it for all this time then!?' The awkward silence of realisation for them both won't go away anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 490

You deserved it 1 263

Doing it on the company dime

By Anonymous - 13/11/2021 17:00

Today, at work, I hooked up with a gorgeous customer in a storage shed. Somehow all my coworkers knew within five minutes, so there’s that, but my direct manager now won’t even look at me because apparently he fancied me himself, but didn’t realise I was a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 1 228

By Anonymous - 24/12/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I found out my mom is getting rid of cable TV. My dad and I bought her a 700 dollar plasma screen TV for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 692

You deserved it 3 392

By Jenn - 03/07/2013 02:39 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 509

You deserved it 5 719

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 10:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to take a short cut driving through the snow. I skidded to avoid an oncoming car and ended up in someone's garden, inches from their brand new extension. The house belonged to a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 336

You deserved it 31 892

By McSlave - 18/01/2015 07:04 - Australia - Cammeray

Today, a customer tried to order a Zinger burger. I tried to explain that he was at McDonalds and that the Zinger is a KFC burger. He accused me of lying to him and tried to report me to my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 879

You deserved it 2 393

Break it off

By Anonymous - 06/04/2020 02:00

Today, I found out my fiancée wishes she'd never said yes when I proposed, as she is in love with another man and has been hiding their relationship for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 121

By verysadasian - 30/07/2009 14:21 - United States

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 498

You deserved it 29 175

By anonymous - 14/09/2011 00:07 - United States

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me. But he justified it by saying she was a ginger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 791

You deserved it 4 492

By Anonymous - 31/08/2019 18:01

Today, I got a haircut. During dinner, my grandmother complained about it, and said I looked terrible. I've had the exact same haircut for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 390

You deserved it 119

By Luckless - 23/02/2019 04:00

Today, I'm preparing my defense for allegedly stalking someone at work. The best part, I have absolutely no clue who it is. Now my skin is crawling as I go through all the messages and in person events that occurred with my actual twice-my-age stalker to show my boss what a real stalker does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 163

You deserved it 144

By horribletimeeverywhere74747 - 11/04/2018 13:00 - United States - Navarre

Today, the girl who'd asked me to prom told me she assumed we weren't going together and is now going with her friends. After agreeing to go with her, I'd bought a $200 non-refundable suit along with the ticket. I have no one else to go with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 494

You deserved it 365

Boundaries

By Sfg_926 - 26/06/2016 05:02 - United States - Newberg

Today, I told one of my coworkers that she looked really cute today. Later she sent an email to me and cc'd the entire office saying, "It really makes me feel uncomfortable when you say things like that to me. And I shouldn't have to feel that way at work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 840

You deserved it 3 518

Drugs are bad, mkay ?

By theshitguy - 15/06/2021 08:01 - Australia - Kedron

Today, I was at a party. A friend and I went to the bathroom together. She finished, I started to go, realising I need to shit. She was still in the room. People began to knock. My brain told me to snap the shit in half… with my hand. I grabbed the toilet paper with said hand, leaving the bathroom covered in shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 1 005

By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 01:28 - United States

Today, my mother had 'the talk' with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 103

You deserved it 2 254

By Anonymous - 29/03/2013 04:38 - United States

Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 289

You deserved it 35 636

By Anonymous - 14/08/2011 19:32 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 453

You deserved it 3 978

Delayed proposal

By Anonymous - 18/07/2020 23:02

Today, my girlfriend found the engagement ring I bought and assumed it was a late birthday present. She’s now wearing it on her right hand like a signet ring and she somehow hasn’t figured out it’s a diamond and not a Swarovski. I'm now waiting for her to figure it out before I pop the question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 649

You deserved it 365

By Uriyahu - 20/09/2010 22:11 - United States

Today, a drunk driver crashed in through my living room wall. Not only that, but he managed to completely miss the first two houses on the block, which should have been a barrier before mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 076

You deserved it 3 225

Not sporty

By Hannah - 22/03/2012 17:21 - Ireland - Wexford

Today, I passed a field where some kids were playing football. The ball rolled over in my direction, so they asked me to kick it over. I tried and failed three times, and ended up throwing it over, where it embarrassingly landed about 2 feet away. They had to come over and get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 127

You deserved it 10 866

By divingconfidence - 22/12/2012 11:21 - United States - Maple Grove

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 509

You deserved it 4 735

By stinkystinky - 12/08/2016 17:32

Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 406

You deserved it 878

By neverdatingacopagain - 25/04/2011 04:24 - United States

Today, I woke up to find a parking ticket on my car. My car was in my driveway and the cop who wrote it is my ex-boyfriend. This is the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 892

You deserved it 6 702

By Kilamo - 04/07/2019 16:00

Today, I paid $2300 to a mechanic for fixing my car. It's also the day I got into an accident and totalled said car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 584

You deserved it 155

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Top comments

Poopstain 0

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Saturday 23 May 2009 12:29

Where's the "her life is f-ed" vote button?

Pepperolls 0

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Saturday 23 May 2009 12:25

Aw ..

biancagolden 0

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Saturday 23 May 2009 12:14

Well how were you supposed to know? Deceitful little brat.

TheAngryPrincess 3

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Saturday 22 August 2009 9:45

Umm..She's not a brat.. STFU BITCH.

dacotaxx 0

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Sunday 7 February 2010 7:54

Fuck you that's fucked up you would even say that to a child without a father

qwertification 0

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 7:30

man your a dumbass #1 how is she deceitful brat was she supposed to say hi Idont have a dad. This is her FML

xx3ginaxx3 0

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Monday 8 March 2010 23:39

It was a girl the OP didn't know. He didn't really deserve it; if you saw a kid coloring a picture that said "best dad," the first thing you'd expect is a child making it for their father. How was the OP supposed to know that she didn't have a dad..?

muneko13 0

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Friday 14 May 2010 8:47

first of all...how does this FML? its not like he has to take care of her! douchebag! and second...the little girl is not deceitful fag!

JustMyLuck_huh 0

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Saturday 22 May 2010 19:53

Why the hell would a little girl right that if she didn't have a dad. I agree with #1. That kid is a brat

wintamint101 7

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Thursday 10 June 2010 3:03

who buys a little girl without a dad a coloring book that says BEST DAD?

Skimbap 0

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Monday 5 July 2010 5:58

#1 has a good point, little cunt doesn't deserve a father...

madgirl102492 0

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Saturday 17 July 2010 0:43

#1 is a mega bitch and shold jump off a cliff. and T~T thats horrible poor kid

angelk11 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 4:54

1 and 99 - you guys r idiots

MaeeFlowers 0

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Thursday 9 September 2010 16:58

#92 Rotflmao! Youre funny.

monzach 5

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Monday 31 January 2011 8:43

clearly the one to blame here is the mother for not having a man to help raise the child

monzach 5

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Monday 31 January 2011 8:45

clearly the one to blame here is the mother for not having a man to help raise the child

swinglifeaway123 8

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Friday 9 September 2011 7:02

You cock sucking dick. Go fuck yourself in the ass with a razor blade. Insensitive dick hole.

jbuckets_404 38

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Thursday 20 April 2017 1:28

Monzach, maybe the father died or there's some other non-irresponsible reason on the part of the mother for his absence. :-(

Vasir 2

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Saturday 23 May 2009 12:20

I uh, dont think this is a FML but ok. Do any of you remember when FML was funny?

Pepperolls 0

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Saturday 23 May 2009 12:25

Aw ..

Bhetti 0

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Saturday 23 May 2009 12:28

Do any of you remember when comments weren't annoying? 'This isn't FML/this isn't funny/first!' That is FHL. The guy in the story is awesome.

Itstopsecret 0

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Friday 19 March 2010 21:11

Why,do you find this particular FML funny?

starberries 0

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Saturday 6 November 2010 21:19

"Do any of you remember when comments weren't annoying?" Nope. "The guy in the story is awesome." There is no guy in the story, and if you're talking about the OP, she didn't do anything awesome.

Poopstain 0

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Saturday 23 May 2009 12:29

Where's the "her life is f-ed" vote button?

nintenDX 0

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Tuesday 9 March 2010 4:57

agreed

howtobe351 0

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Friday 27 April 2012 22:56

Love your profile picture lol I.C.P wooop wooop!

lette4life959 10

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Tuesday 23 October 2012 1:08

Awww shit! Whoop whoop fam!! ;D I'm goin to hallowicked in 5 days!!!

dearViena 0

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Saturday 23 May 2009 12:30

#2 is right

PlasmaPorter 12

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Monday 5 May 2014 4:45

there is no #2.... EGGGSSS

HowlingFire 21

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Tuesday 26 January 2016 8:25

#133 this comment was made when there was a #2. The #2 comment got deleted, and that is why you no longer see a comment #2

catatonicsleep 17

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Saturday 23 May 2009 12:47

You weren't to know. Lots of people make slip ups like that and most people would assume that if a child is colouring something with 'Best Dad' written on it that they are colouring if for their Dad.

Vasir 2

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Saturday 23 May 2009 12:59

4- When stuff was funny, no one would have to say "this isnt funny".

XblahhX 0

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Saturday 23 May 2009 13:36

I find it even funnier how about 10% of people said that you deserved this.

awkward_turtles 1

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Saturday 13 August 2011 8:02

FunniER? I didn't find the FML very funny to begin with...

look_its_me 0

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Saturday 23 May 2009 13:42

This isn't your fault. And it's not an FML.

DWordHead16 19

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Sunday 22 September 2013 8:51

I know this is old but damn. I think this is an FML because the OP knows she hurt the girl's feelings and feels extremely bad. It's not her fault though; she didn't know.