I feel bad for you, OP, but why did you give in after so long? Doesn't he realize that no means no? He should have got the hint years ago.

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And one "you're hurting me, please stop" means "you're hurting me, please stop." If anyone ever says that to you, listen to them and believe them.

ouch that can happen?? amd he absolutely should not have pressured you like that. as my esteemed friend above says - no means no!

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Coercion should not be considered legitimate consent. Asking a thousands times until someone says yes is coercion.

You raise a valid point, but there is also the argument that asking so often just wears the person down to get them to agree just to stop the other person nagging them about it.

It's not about the person being coerced being tricked or even not knowing that they're being coerced, it's about whether or not the repeated asking/nagging/whatever means that the consent was obtained under pressure or not and therefore whether that means it was really given freely.

What an asshole. Pun intended but he is.

you would think after waiting all that time he would want to make sure it went well so she would want to do it again....now he will be lucky the next time he actually gets vanilla sex

What a pain in the ass. Yes it was a pun and yes it’s legit. He is a real dick.

Seriously, when you say, "Stop, that hurts," or "Slow down," or "I'm not ready," or anything like that, and he keeps going, that's pretty simply rape. It is traumatic bodily harm. Make DAMN sure he understands this, and that HE is the reason you need surgery.

And for those who don't know: yes there can be rape within a couple. No is no.

And that is why you don't do anal.

Let me fix that first sentence for you, "Today, after years of telling my *now ex-boyfriend* that I don't do anal".

My husband tried to talk me into it. I finally got angry and said if he wanted it so badly, I’d buy a dildo and ram it up HIS ass!

Last time he ever mentioned it.

Smart move.

Your husband is not very curious. Did he know that his proatate is a highly erogenous zone?

I have to agree with you. Fortunately my wife and I both have no desire at all to try anal. We have a fantastic sex life without it. To me, it's just gross.

kinky

I said no anal to my ex and he did it anyways.

That sounds like rape.

That IS rape.