Today, after having watched a scare story on the news about heart disease, my mom is now insisting that we have daily, hour-long, family yoga sessions together. I have a job, and barely have enough time to do my homework as it is. I'm going to be grounded if I don't take part. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML
Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML
Today, my mother complained all day while I'm trying to work from home. I started getting chest pains from the stress of everything having to be perfect or she has one of her meltdowns. FML
Today, my mom heard on TV that teens need at least ten hours of sleep a day. Now she makes me go to bed at 7pm. I told her I can't finish my homework in time, and my grades will suffer. She wouldn't listen. Last week, she threatened to punish me if I don't get straight As this semester. FML
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
Today, I complained to my parents about chest pains. My mom said, "For fuck’s sake, it’s our day off. Can we just have ONE day without your drama?" Turns out, I was actually having a heart attack. She still won’t apologize, and is in fact mad at me for having a heart attack on her day off. FML
Today, it seems that I can't enjoy one fucking weekend without my mom finding work for me to do to take up my time, and I'm sick of it! FML
Today, my mom spent an hour lecturing me on how I'm a doormat who lets people walk all over me, and that I needed to be more assertive. So I stood up and told my dad, no, I am not going on that forestry camp he wants me to go to. Mom sat silently by as he screamed and grounded me for the entire summer. FML
Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
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Top comments
MelTheGreat 23
Clone yourself.
evilplatypus 39
And? What's the problem with being grounded if you don't have any time for anything but school, homework and your job? It sounds like if you're grounded things will be just as you need them.
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Comments (206)
mariet_fml 23
Find a scare article on the dangers of yoga. Google "how yoga can wreck your body".
mariet_fml 23
I've no idea how I didn't see comment #34. I failed.
henrygondorff 2
And you had the best comment ever!
ladyLALAA 29
Tell your mum sure, if she wants to pay your for the work hours you miss, if not gtfo.
SailorLove 4
if you get grounded you'll have enough time for your homework ! ;D
justintwist 0
Yoga is good for you stop being a bitch an do a little exercise
demonmonkey 13
Since you probably have no time for a social life, why does it matter if you're grounded?
Jizzle11 0
Out of the money!!!!!
lishy1311 0
Wow That sucks It's lose-lose in your favor :/
lovelife9 12
I have the same problem. I try to work out a lot and loose weight and gain muscle and eat healthier. But I barely have enough time because I have to go to school, cheerleading, do homework, and hang out with my friends, boyfriend and see family and I barely have time either. And do add it up, I'm planning on getting a job this year. My life will be 2x busier than it is now. FML
taradeborde87 3
Get over it. If you have time to get on the internet and bitch about how busy you are, you obviously have some time to spare.
TheNewGuy03 29
70, pray tell, how is that a "busy schedule"? |the kid|
l0v3p4in 7
OP, I'm very curious how old you are and the surrounding circumstances .... Either way, cherish your family time. Haven't you read these other FMLs of drunken, drug-addicted, deadbeat parents? At least your mom cares. :)
MattZAX 9
Then you don't finish your homework and the teacher calls, you get grounded for that. Fyl.