Dad jokes FTW!

By rositaleigh - 01/07/2019 00:06

Today, my father and I were out in town when a lady walked up and commented on what a great looking couple we were. My dad puts his arm around me and says "Thank you! We've been together for 17 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 923

You deserved it 234

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/04/2009 14:09 - Hong Kong

Today, my mum and I were walking down a road where we met an old neighbour who recently got divorced. Her son who we hadn't seen for about 10 years was with her and he looked very handsome. I said, "oh wow ! your son has grown up so much !" The woman replied, "this is my boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 542

You deserved it 8 955

By amore89 - 28/07/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 882

You deserved it 243

Looking good

By lexibabe - 03/03/2009 00:36 - United States

Today, I was in the bank with my seven year-old daughter, when I saw an old high school friend of mine with his wife. I said hello, and he commented on how beautiful my little girl was. I thanked him, and as I turned away, I heard his wife say, "I guess the father must be the good looking one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 018

You deserved it 2 777

Two speeds

By Anonymous - 13/09/2024 17:00 - United States - LaRue

Today, a waitress kept calling me "Mom" and my dad "Dad". My dad (69) and I (38f) hang out a lot, and very often go out to eat, just the two of us. Either I look really old, or people think he's got it going on. Why? They ask me, "Is that your dad or grandpa?" Then ask him, "Is that your wife or daughter?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 96

Patronising

By quickfingers100 - 22/05/2011 09:31 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "Mom." I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me "something nice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 399

You deserved it 4 247

By Krissy. - 31/03/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 776

You deserved it 4 994

By Nick Pat - 30/09/2015 13:13

Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 677

You deserved it 2 959

By al0406 - 22/03/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, I was at lunch with my grandpa and my sister. My grandpa looks over at my sister and says, "Wow. You're so beautiful." Right after, he turns to me and says, "And you have a nice coat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 340

You deserved it 4 215

By Michelle - 03/08/2011 06:01 - United States

Today, I went bowling with my parents. This cute guy works there and he always flirts with me. My mom just so happened to see it today. As we left, she says to him, "You know she's 13, right?" I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 155

You deserved it 3 426

By NotYourDaddy - 08/08/2017 00:31

Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 504

You deserved it 561

Charlie Given 26

Monday 1 July 2019 0:17

LMFAO 😂 that's a great dad come back

nemcali 34

Monday 1 July 2019 1:18

Your dad is awesome!

Comments

Charlie Given 26

Monday 1 July 2019 0:17

LMFAO 😂 that's a great dad come back

Mathalamus 24

Monday 1 July 2019 0:56

That is disturbing..

EmDizzle2007 28

Monday 1 July 2019 1:02

that shines more light on your own life than you probably want it to.

nemcali 34

Monday 1 July 2019 1:18

Your dad is awesome!

sallygee 9

Monday 1 July 2019 3:38

I think that's funny. sounds like you need to get a sense of humor. ydi

BMXDude22 12

Monday 1 July 2019 9:20

Hey dude, why d'you keep making these stupid comments? D'you ever say anything positive or interesting? ydi

evilplatypus 38

Wednesday 3 July 2019 17:04

They literally started their comment with “I think that’s funny.” That’s a positive thing. Learn to read.

Nhayaa 21

Monday 1 July 2019 5:58

When I'm with my father people always assume we're a couple even though you can really see the resemblance... But we never react the way your father did, I'll try it next time!

evilplatypus 38

Wednesday 3 July 2019 17:08

They did a psychology study not too long ago where people were given dozens of pictures of men and women they’d never met. With a fairly high degree of accuracy, they were able to correctly match the married pairs. It’s hypothesized that decades of a similar diet and shared activities lead (happily) married couples to look similar to each other. For example, my sister and her other half - because they hike and fish together, their skin tones have started to sync up and their fish and alcohol diet makes them carry weight pretty similarly.