Today, after having watched a scare story on the news about heart disease, my mom is now insisting that we have daily, hour-long, family yoga sessions together. I have a job, and barely have enough time to do my homework as it is. I'm going to be grounded if I don't take part. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML
Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML
Today, my mother complained all day while I'm trying to work from home. I started getting chest pains from the stress of everything having to be perfect or she has one of her meltdowns. FML
Today, my mom heard on TV that teens need at least ten hours of sleep a day. Now she makes me go to bed at 7pm. I told her I can't finish my homework in time, and my grades will suffer. She wouldn't listen. Last week, she threatened to punish me if I don't get straight As this semester. FML
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
Today, I complained to my parents about chest pains. My mom said, "For fuck’s sake, it’s our day off. Can we just have ONE day without your drama?" Turns out, I was actually having a heart attack. She still won’t apologize, and is in fact mad at me for having a heart attack on her day off. FML
Today, it seems that I can't enjoy one fucking weekend without my mom finding work for me to do to take up my time, and I'm sick of it! FML
Today, my mom spent an hour lecturing me on how I'm a doormat who lets people walk all over me, and that I needed to be more assertive. So I stood up and told my dad, no, I am not going on that forestry camp he wants me to go to. Mom sat silently by as he screamed and grounded me for the entire summer. FML
Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
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Top comments
MelTheGreat 23
Clone yourself.
evilplatypus 39
And? What's the problem with being grounded if you don't have any time for anything but school, homework and your job? It sounds like if you're grounded things will be just as you need them.
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Comments (206)
ammyjustine07 1
well if you don't have time to even do your homework, that means you have no extra free time anyway. being grounded should be no different
kosh_bl_k 0
if you don't have time to do yoga, you're definitely too busy to hang out with friends anyway; so, being grounded shouldn't be that much of a problem.
cheeez4u 8
I call B.S. So you are so busy you cannot do one little hour of exercise but you can get on the internet to complain about it. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I used to B.S. myself like that too and then I just buckled down and started making time for exercise. I study full time and have a full time job on top of a severe, incurable disease. A little Yoga won't kill you.
hateevryone 15
you need to let her know that you don't have time.
robberry 11
Exercising is a very important part of your daily routine. Make time for it! Also, enjoy the time you get to spent with your family now. In a few years, your life will actually get stressful.
Shawme 6
Your life does not suck simply because someone cares enough about you to teach you something that will benefit you your entire life. Suck it up, learn yoga and you will be thankful !
sarahsrainbow 4
Well think of it the other way, if you're grounded you'll have time to do homework... Just saying...
bubo_fml 11
Eat loads of beans an hour beforehand & audibly beef throughout each session...Hard to maintain Yogic concentration with a bum trumpet constantly blowing off!
jebron 13
Well if you are grounded you will have more time for your homework. Problem solved!
Okayitwasme 0
It's a phase. It'll pass.