Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a couple of friends and one of them tells a funny story about how he filled a condom with syrup and put it in his friend's mouth while he was asleep. Me with my big mouth starts to say, "Condoms taste na--" and stopped myself as everyone started laughing at me. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
So... you gave yourself a facial? Smooth.
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Holding a used condom above your face can never end well. Wtf were you thinking.
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Comments (216)
BradenLock 4
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
SuperPandaSwagg 10
And that's why you don't buy condoms at the dollar store.
snowman7me 0
He'll learn that in a few months.
SilverTears622 4
Mmmmmm! Salty
200nick2 0
Maybe there was just lots of cum in it?
truerebel 1
Ydi for playing with the condom! Sicko! Do ur thing, then throw that bitch away as fast as possible!
ghirahim 5
Geez, its 1400's. Get it right. Sigh....
MTZ8590 4
let us know in 9 months, dumbass!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Why would you possibly think that was a good idea? It also sounds like you're still very immature and probably shouldn't be having sex in the first place. Thank God you used a condom - we don't need someone that immature procreating. Although I'm also wondering how strong it actually was...*shudders*
MzMegs 20
Soo.. Having an odd sense of humor is now known as being immature?
Casalenuovo 0
Cum is always good lol
thatoneguy79 10
The fact that you were able to dangle it over your face before it burst indicates that it did its job in the throws of battle. Unless you have the new self-healing kind that rips, repairs itself, and the rips again. Then you might be in trouble. But hey, you are having sex so you have undoubtedly and carefully considered all feasible consequences of your actions and discussed them with your partner, so either way you should be fine.