Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a couple of friends and one of them tells a funny story about how he filled a condom with syrup and put it in his friend's mouth while he was asleep. Me with my big mouth starts to say, "Condoms taste na--" and stopped myself as everyone started laughing at me. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
So... you gave yourself a facial? Smooth.
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Holding a used condom above your face can never end well. Wtf were you thinking.
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Comments (216)
xxyourdesire 0
Don't have sex unless you're prepared for the consequences.
DeadxManxWalking 27
Why would you do that?
SoultheWolf 19
I laughed so hard when I read this. What kind of moron would do something like this? Condoms don't break easily, so for it to burst like that you've had to have done more then hust "dangle it" over you. I was playing around with one out of boredom and I completely filled it with water, stretching it well over a foot and a half, yet when I dangled it above the tub it didn't burst. YDI
aissie 2
Condoms become less effective if they pass their expiration date or if they aren't kept at a certain temperature (70 degrees F, I think). So, that could have made it burst a little easier. The more you know.
Samuel55 7
Off to the physician…
lucianaamelia 21
Nice one!
RedPillSucks 33
Worst Joke Ever!!!
1710_fml 0
You can **** up your eating but don't eat up your ******
Cjlovesyou 0
what was in it?
PrincessPesa 20
Marshmallow cream, of course!
foreveridiot17 18
You may want to change the brand of condoms you use and store them in a room temp area where they aren't too hot or too cold. FYL sir indeed!
1710_fml 0
Some ones got expirence with condoms
foreveridiot17 18
If some people listen in health class or take health classes in college, they talk about this stuff until they are blue in the face lol or atleast my teachers did.
chokefrantic 9
Yeah, how do YOU like it?