Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a couple of friends and one of them tells a funny story about how he filled a condom with syrup and put it in his friend's mouth while he was asleep. Me with my big mouth starts to say, "Condoms taste na--" and stopped myself as everyone started laughing at me. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
So... you gave yourself a facial? Smooth.
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Holding a used condom above your face can never end well. Wtf were you thinking.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (216)
circulareasoning 2
It was a joke...? I don't get it.
hillbillyted 4
There are easier ways to give yourself a "milk mustache" lmao
Stoopid_life 2
Well if it wasn't leaking when you held it up,then you'll be ok
ciumegu 6
All I imagined when I heard this was Peter griffin tripping and all the donations..fell on him.
jaredofmo 22
... Excuse me. I need to vomit now.
mumgee 3
you gave yourself the money shot..... now your ready for ****.
Zombiegirl420 1
Id say you came at just the right time
derkster 6
Atleast it was ur own spermalaide
jwbfml 11
Bet you never ask if you can give her a facial now.
MariaJ615 6
Congratulations on that epic fail.. What possessed you to do something like that in the first place? Too bad I can only click the YDI button only once..