Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband gave our son the sex talk. Maybe it’s because we never talk openly about it, but my husband is into some racy shit. FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML
Today, my son asked his mom about sex, so she talked about love, marriage, God, affection and all that bollocks, missing the point that he wanted to know about having good sex since he has a girlfriend now, so I explained all the wet, squishy practical bits of sex. Now my wife is mad at me. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, we discovered that our 14 year-old son is having sex. I was mad as hell at him, but by the end his dad completely took over the conversation, congratulated the hell out of him, and gave him money for condoms. If I wasn’t there, I genuinely think he would’ve asked our son for tips on infidelity. FML
Today, my 14-year-old son asked his dog what she was chewing on. It wasn't until he picked it up said, "Is this what I think it is?" that I realized my son was gripping my vibrator. As I took it outside, mortified, he told his sister. FML
Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about sex and I asked him if he had ever finished inside a woman. He looked directly into my eyes and said, "Babe... I have a son, remember?" Yeah, I forgot. FML
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Top comments
friedpwnadge 25
Your husband is awesome.
davincidasecond 24
Well, he IS giving decent advice ... I mean if he's gonna do it, he's gotta do it right.
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Comments (179)
jonha21 11
Hahaha Welcome to 2013 Lmaof
rsue 14
Well, to be fair, "USE A ******* CONDOM. You can't afford the disease OR the kid." takes about six seconds to say. You gotta fill the rest of the airtime with something, and it might as well be that.
Drifting 21
The best advice a father can give his son!
Ceejay1 13
Its up to you to handle that serious conversation.
IvyPalin 7
Well if your husband thinks he's old enough to give tips, then your son is probably older then implied, and also gives you a hint that your husband started having sex at a similar age to son, calm down person
Raykyogrou03 12
Geez, lady. You can't expect teenagers to not have sex, the only thing you can do as parents is hand them condoms and tell them to use the.
ViviMage 40
What a shallow way of thinking! There is far more to the female sexual response! My *guy* likes erotic back and hip rubs. Did you know that the ******** has 6000-8000 nerve endings in it? And it can get OVERstimulated and retreat against the body wall? And it hurts when it's overstimulated? I hope your son knows that! If he thinks his dick and her clit are all that matters, Daddy just set him up or failure at anything but a one night stand. If he wants a long term relationship, love the whole. The feet, the breasts, the belly, her smile, her hair, her laugh.
khaya 9
It could have been worse "look after the sack as well as the...." A whole different problem than just sex tips
InvisibleMonster_fml 16
Your husband knows what he's talking about.
peachfuzz74 8
Lmfao i love it!!!!