Anonymous
United States
Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Poopie
Canada
Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML
Anonymous
Not now!
Today, after 4 days without being able to poop, now, while sitting stuck in traffic, I have the sudden urge to use the bathroom. FML
Tabby Rosas
Slid right out
Today, after 8 days of being on a medication that makes it hard to go to the bathroom and no luck taking laxatives and drinking coffee and apple juice, I finally got to go. Too bad I was at my desk at work when it happened. I washed out my pants in the bathroom and got to sit in wet pants for 4 hours. FML
Anonymous
United States
You need more fiber
Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML
Me
United States
Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML
Dana
Rolling thunder
Today, it's been a week that I've had bad constipation. Overeating on my 16th birthday last week got me sick; since then I've pooped only once, and it took a hard push to go it out. Today I had my second poop. Good news: I did go. Bad: it happened on the bus home from school. My pals actually cheered when I finished straining. FML
missbutthole
United States
Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML
092492
United States
Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML
constipated
Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML
Sostupid
Canada
Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML
Top comments
OhDearBetrayal 25
Doesn't matter still pooped.
twinny_sc 13
I hope for your sake you were at least at home and not in public.
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Comments (101)
ferrousWheel 6
Original, at least. I doubt most people ever find themselves in a situation where they truthfully utter the phrase: "Sadly, I was not on the toilet."
iliketurdles 7
You say that like it's a bad thing..
Roflsauruz 12
#14 ^ People without Crohn's disease, at least........ (FML.)
IDGAF_GTFO 0
Lol. you probably should have been near a toilet at the time, just sayin.
Honestly_Lainey 21
******** yourself near a toilet is just as bad as ******** yourself far away from a toilet. Possibly it's worse because there's the shame of knowing that you didn't make it and being able to see that you were so close... Just sayin' :P
Eila1996 5
poor you! thats so shitty!
ebdeadaccount 11
*SLAM* For Life's Bleachable Moments
seanxavier 3
I call bullshit all these wanna be funny stories have already been used
cliffibom 15
Constipation is a bitch.
madashell43 3
and diahrea is her ugly siater
mattorama 15
So long as nobody saw, you're fine.
KittyJay 3
Free at last! Free at last! Anyone? No? ( ._.) Ok
cayytee 0
youre boobs are uneven too!? oh..wait..
failureusername 12
I hope you still went to the toilet as soon as it started coming out. 4 days worth of poop is a lot to take for one pair of underwear.
baby4mommy 27
Four days is a lot to hold even if you're wearing a diaper. I'm sorry you had such an embarrassing experience but there are much worse things that could happen. I'm a quad stuck in a wheelchair and have that experience all the time. Today I had to hear my home nurse ask a receptionist if there was someplace private where she could change my diaper. The bathroom was to small for me, my nurse and my chair so I had to spend an undignified 40 minutes being changed at the end of a hallway with 2 open doors the only available privacy screen.
gussyman 0
The thing is that's what happened to me but I am sitting on the toilet right now