Health: Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly,...

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 03:14 - United States

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 781

You deserved it 3 069

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Same thing different taste

By Poopie - 29/01/2011 06:06 - Canada

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 214

You deserved it 3 200

Not now!

By Anonymous - 19/07/2019 00:01

Today, after 4 days without being able to poop, now, while sitting stuck in traffic, I have the sudden urge to use the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 772

You deserved it 148

Slid right out

By Tabby Rosas - 21/02/2021 21:30

Today, after 8 days of being on a medication that makes it hard to go to the bathroom and no luck taking laxatives and drinking coffee and apple juice, I finally got to go. Too bad I was at my desk at work when it happened. I washed out my pants in the bathroom and got to sit in wet pants for 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 84

By Me - 20/06/2011 16:14 - United States

Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 502

You deserved it 5 623

By missbutthole - 04/06/2011 13:07 - United States

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 702

You deserved it 3 883

By 092492 - 05/03/2011 21:53 - United States

Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 536

You deserved it 3 993

By constipated - 03/06/2017 02:00

Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 328

You deserved it 441

By Sostupid - 24/01/2011 03:41 - Canada

Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 498

You deserved it 8 796

By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 251

You deserved it 4 962

By firegirl - 05/07/2018 15:00

Today, I finally got over a long bout of constipation. I was scared to ask my mom for laxatives because I had the feeling she would tell all her friends, but on the 6th day of absolutely no bowel movements, I caved. I later overheard my mom telling all her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 903

You deserved it 365

OhDearBetrayal 25

Monday 14 May 2012 9:22

Doesn't matter still pooped.

twinny_sc 13

Monday 14 May 2012 9:22

I hope for your sake you were at least at home and not in public.

Comments

ferrousWheel 6

Monday 14 May 2012 9:29

Original, at least. I doubt most people ever find themselves in a situation where they truthfully utter the phrase: "Sadly, I was not on the toilet."

iliketurdles 7

Monday 14 May 2012 11:26

You say that like it's a bad thing..

Roflsauruz 12

Tuesday 15 May 2012 5:14

#14 ^ People without Crohn's disease, at least........ (FML.)

IDGAF_GTFO 0

Monday 14 May 2012 9:29

Lol. you probably should have been near a toilet at the time, just sayin.

Honestly_Lainey 21

Monday 14 May 2012 10:38

******** yourself near a toilet is just as bad as ******** yourself far away from a toilet. Possibly it's worse because there's the shame of knowing that you didn't make it and being able to see that you were so close... Just sayin' :P

Eila1996 5

Monday 14 May 2012 9:31

poor you! thats so shitty!

ebdeadaccount 11

Monday 14 May 2012 9:32

*SLAM* For Life's Bleachable Moments

seanxavier 3

Monday 14 May 2012 9:39

I call bullshit all these wanna be funny stories have already been used

cliffibom 15

Monday 14 May 2012 9:42

Constipation is a bitch.

madashell43 3

Tuesday 15 May 2012 14:11

and diahrea is her ugly siater

mattorama 15

Monday 14 May 2012 9:42

So long as nobody saw, you're fine.

KittyJay 3

Monday 14 May 2012 9:46

Free at last! Free at last! Anyone? No? ( ._.) Ok

cayytee 0

Monday 14 May 2012 22:55

youre boobs are uneven too!? oh..wait..

failureusername 12

Monday 14 May 2012 9:50

I hope you still went to the toilet as soon as it started coming out. 4 days worth of poop is a lot to take for one pair of underwear.

baby4mommy 27

Tuesday 15 May 2012 1:33

Four days is a lot to hold even if you're wearing a diaper. I'm sorry you had such an embarrassing experience but there are much worse things that could happen. I'm a quad stuck in a wheelchair and have that experience all the time. Today I had to hear my home nurse ask a receptionist if there was someplace private where she could change my diaper. The bathroom was to small for me, my nurse and my chair so I had to spend an undignified 40 minutes being changed at the end of a hallway with 2 open doors the only available privacy screen.