Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML
Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML
Self-confidence boost
Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML
Today, while out for a jog, I noticed that you never know how fast you run until you're being followed by someone in a car you don't know, and they're continuously honking at you. I later found out it my dad in his new car. FML
Gotta start somewhere
Today, I went outside to start jogging for improving my ever declining fitness. A kind stranger yelled, “You’re doing great!” as I was wheezing after my first block. I was sitting on a bench. FML
Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML
Freaked
Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML
Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Jog on
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Top comments
jezombie 22
Keep at it! Don't let one asshole ruin it for you! :)
cjwayy 22
What the hell? That's disgusting. I'm sorry, OP. That dude was obviously bored with his own sad life and needs to get a job or something to occupy himself.
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Comments (243)
SiJSyd 2
Why would FML post this? I read FMLs to laugh at others' misfortune but there is absolutely nothing funny about this. Sorry OP by the way.
carzaki27 12
Don't let assholes like that guy hold you back. Keep it up OP! Good luck!
mhome9 1
Getting in shape isnt something to be ashamed of. That dude just has his own insecurities. Keep at it and good job so far! Remember theres only a few dicks on the planet...just ignore them and cqrry on!
craanberry_fml 7
HE should be writing a FML because HIS life sucks, if the only thing he has to do is making fun of people who try to be in a better shape.
FluffyArt 6
Headphones or earbuds and music. Makes running more fun, and you won't be able to hear the morons who just want to get a rise. They'd do that to any woman they see running, regardless of size, just to get a reaction.
Astrick1 7
keep running! your making an effort to change your life for the better. youll have people try and bring you down but they wont because your too motivated! stay strong and live long!
sonnyrosa 32
What a cockknocker! Keep at it, PLEASE keep at it. It's hard now, but soon, the weight will fall off, you'll be in much better shape and you'll be able to run that ************ DOWN!
kewpiesuicide 29
I used to know the sweetest girl ever who walked down the halls at school and people mooed at her. She always kept her head up and now her outside matches her inside. Keep up the good work, you can do it!
starcaller17 16
Next time, turn around and go sit on them.
HellboundAlleee 4
Someone needs his ass kicked.