Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML
Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML
Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML
Today, while out for a jog, I noticed that you never know how fast you run until you're being followed by someone in a car you don't know, and they're continuously honking at you. I later found out it my dad in his new car. FML
Today, I went outside to start jogging for improving my ever declining fitness. A kind stranger yelled, “You’re doing great!” as I was wheezing after my first block. I was sitting on a bench. FML
Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML
Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML
Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
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Top comments
jezombie 22
Keep at it! Don't let one asshole ruin it for you! :)
cjwayy 22
What the hell? That's disgusting. I'm sorry, OP. That dude was obviously bored with his own sad life and needs to get a job or something to occupy himself.
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Comments (243)
phatdaddy62 23
That is why you should always carry a firearm while jogging. At least one reason. But a pretty good reason.
r00nie 10
Carry an egg in your pocket next time.
GamerPerson 19
Don't let that asshole or the 1259 YDI deter you. They'll all just rude brats hiding behind a media device. You do you, OP!
Shandra78 9
Keep at it, I had better luck and more privacy on a cheap second hand elliptical trainer in front of the tv. Though I still had to close the curtains. People can be so nosy. Still down to 180lbs from 230lbs 10 years ago, persistence is the only thing that actually works long term, and keeping the crap foods I have a problem with out of the house, permanently.
fyl7899 12
It's funny how badly people want overweight people to exercise, but are the first to pick on them for doing so. Oh America
TallMist 32
I've heard stories about this happening in all kinds of different countries. Your "Oh, America" is invalid.
letsgooo_fml 23
Keep up the good work! :) That guy must be really unhappy with his life if he feels the need to do that.
tayymeds 23
Don't ever believe what that insensitive ass says. Believe in yourself and know you are better than anyone who tries to tear you down. You go girl!
Neoking 4
Dude probably has such a worthless life that he finds happiness when making others sad. **** him OP, keep doing what you're doing, and who really cares what that worthless **** thinks anyway?
xeno666 11
Keep up the great work, stuff him, look at how well you're doing... Good on you...
alki_fml 5
Next time, take note of the license plate and report the car as stolen. Anonymously of course and not from your own phone!