Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML
Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML
Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML
Today, while out for a jog, I noticed that you never know how fast you run until you're being followed by someone in a car you don't know, and they're continuously honking at you. I later found out it my dad in his new car. FML
Today, I went outside to start jogging for improving my ever declining fitness. A kind stranger yelled, “You’re doing great!” as I was wheezing after my first block. I was sitting on a bench. FML
Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML
Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML
Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jezombie 22
Keep at it! Don't let one asshole ruin it for you! :)
cjwayy 22
What the hell? That's disgusting. I'm sorry, OP. That dude was obviously bored with his own sad life and needs to get a job or something to occupy himself.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (243)
amisenho 11
It doesn't matter what you look like; truth is, going outside and exercising or spending time outdoors is extremely attractive. There will always be someone there to wreck your sandcastle after working hard to build it, but you're taking a step in the right direction (literally and figuratively). I have a saying that's turned into my mantra when I don't feel motivated to exercise: Ask yourself, once the sun slips away, "Am I more fit than I was yesterday?"
kichie22 7
Don't let one asshole bring you down.
snowgr5 6
That's terroristic threatening with a deadly weapon (the car) in the United States. His implication was that he would run you over if you didn't run faster. Call the cops next time and press charges. Cyclists have to do it all the time. Secondly, it's apparent from your writing that you are a beautiful and caring person. You have the gumption to try and better yourself. You can always lose a few pounds if that's what you want, but that guy will always be an ass.
TallMist 32
...What does terrorism have to do with OP getting made fun of, again?
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Ignore that shitbag!!! If you see the turd again throw a rock at his POS card.
Hph723 12
Fat ass
dumpless 13
******* asshole keep running it's ok
Ray_of_midnight 23
Why in the **** would you mock someone who's trying to make their life better? What assholes. Please, don't let them get you down. Keep jogging, wear earphones or something.
PeachiePrincess 16
Try not to let the assholes get to you, I know it's hard. The thing is, you're so much better than that. Just be yourself and do you. In the end, that's all that really matters :)
pookiebear1001 13
Don't let some jerk take away your pride my dear. He's simply jealous that you have curves and he doesn't.
tfowl61692 14
keep it!