Miscellaneous: Freaked

Freaked

By paranoid - 06/06/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 690

You deserved it 55 064

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Same thing different taste

By Eyesore - 16/04/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 198

You deserved it 86 625

Smooth

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I was out for a jog when I saw my ex-boyfriend walking towards me. I tried to duck behind a tree to avoid him, but I slipped on a plastic bag and fell into a lovely patch of mud. He saw the whole thing and walked away smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 545

By bet a woman would've been thanked - 07/05/2013 20:21 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 122

You deserved it 3 111

Bad boy

By Dammit - 31/05/2023 17:02 - United States

Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 112

By BIZZMAL - 05/01/2011 02:44 - United States

Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 312

You deserved it 32 631

Awkward

By ellinor - 17/09/2010 20:33 - Sweden

Today, I was walking outside when I saw my best friend about 100 meters away. I began running towards her, arms flailing, screaming out a tribal battle cry. It wasn't until I was nearly on top of her that I realised it was someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 519

You deserved it 37 207

By see you next cunt - 18/03/2014 19:44 - United States

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 957

You deserved it 5 133

Look out!

By station - 05/05/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was walking out of the train station when an old man grabbed me. I started screaming, yelling, "HELP" like a madwoman and tried pushing him away - that's when I saw the golf cart rush past me. He was trying to push me aside from getting run over. Everyone started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 952

You deserved it 57 234

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 03:59 - United States

Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 295

You deserved it 2 904

By ktreens - 19/10/2012 04:06 - Canada - Brandon

Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 791

You deserved it 26 433

shiroun 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 12:07

What the hell is with all the paranoid women? If theres a shadow behind you it doesnt automatically mean that youre about to get raped.

je_tdwp 4

Tuesday 28 June 2011 5:13

Who the hell waves their arms to ward off an attacker? Are you dealing with a raccoon or a mugger here?

Comments

shiroun 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 12:07

What the hell is with all the paranoid women? If theres a shadow behind you it doesnt automatically mean that youre about to get raped.

quent10 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 20:19

it's funny because you thought you were in trouble but it was just a jogger minding his own biz

je_tdwp 4

Tuesday 28 June 2011 5:13

Who the hell waves their arms to ward off an attacker? Are you dealing with a raccoon or a mugger here?

hobbsicle805 0

Thursday 28 July 2011 19:53

This is an example of what you call a 'dumb bitch'

smileyxo4 5

Friday 5 August 2011 7:44

164- I think it was to draw attention to herself, so if "he attacked", more people would be watching... I think.

angeluv_2014 22

Sunday 27 January 2013 23:02

Well, I think it would be a cute "how I met you" story.... You know, if the jogger liked what he heard. *eyebrows*

SaintKiwi 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 12:10

Yeah a pro wouldn't be caught by his shadow! YDI.

benshady 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 12:14

Why are women that afraid of attakers?Well at least you wern't carrying a gun.

BecauseIAmBatman_fml 22

Wednesday 13 August 2014 14:27

Because lots of women get attacked. That's why.

PlasticShark 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 12:17

Sounds like he should be more scared of YOU !

Hazimius 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 12:24

You should have looked before you started panicking...

Nightfallz 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 12:28

Dir dir diiiiir Women /facepalm

boatiebanter 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 12:29

If it had been an attacker, flailing your arms would help you how? Make him laugh so hard he can't run after you? YDI for being ridiculously paranoid. I'm surprised you even pluck up the courage to leave your house.

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 6 June 2009 12:31

I agree with #1. This is so sad and stupid. In some situations, sure, but this, no. Throwing your arms around and screaming isn't exactly attacker proof. I guess we can't all take self defence classes though if we're truly paranoid. Oh wait.