Today, I went outside to start jogging for improving my ever declining fitness. A kind stranger yelled, “You’re doing great!” as I was wheezing after my first block. I was sitting on a bench. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I told my gym trainer I’d do anything to get in shape. He challenged me to run a mile without stopping. I agreed, then got winded halfway through and dramatically collapsed on the track. A 70 year-oldish woman jogged past me and said, “You’ll live.” FML
Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML
Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML
Today, while going for my daily run, a woman stopped me and said, "I think it's so great that people of your size are comfortable enough to run and show their bodies in public." FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML
Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML
Today, I joined my grandpa on his morning jog. I didn't last 15 minutes before nearly passing out from exhaustion. He came jogging back home nearly an hour later looking even better than he did when we left. FML
Today, I joined a gym. I’m overweight and not very athletic, so I was nervous. I looked around and tried a treadmill. I start walking at a chill pace, then got ambitious and cranked it to a "light jog." Within seconds, I tripped, fell, and sent the emergency stop button flying across the room. The gym staff ran over and I swear someone said, “Well, at least he’s trying.” FML
Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML
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Top comments
Yudith 28
Congratulations for deciding to get in shape and actually acting on it! Next time you're jogging, remember this kind stranger's words, and next time you might be able to run two blocks without stopping!
Pyrocrashe 12
Every journey starts with a single step, congrats on taking it. Don't let the intrusive negative thoughts win, be proud of yourself and continue!
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Comments (3)
Yudith 28
Congratulations for deciding to get in shape and actually acting on it! Next time you're jogging, remember this kind stranger's words, and next time you might be able to run two blocks without stopping!
Pyrocrashe 12
Every journey starts with a single step, congrats on taking it. Don't let the intrusive negative thoughts win, be proud of yourself and continue!
JasonThorn 24
It's unrealistic to do everything. It's self-destructive to do nothing. But it's improvement if you're doing SOMETHING.