Health: Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night.... - FML

By Hayleey_079 - 18/02/2010 14:22 - United Kingdom

Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 971

You deserved it 3 742

Batman

Mama's boy

Baby you can drive my car

By Ifuckdup - 25/05/2017 00:00

Today, I asked my classmate if she was ready for the final tomorrow and she said it was yesterday. I'm not a bad student - I have 90+ average in the class - but the final was 50% of my grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 480

You deserved it 1 854

By disturbed - 17/03/2010 01:34 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 342

You deserved it 3 336

By LanaStidolph - 02/12/2017 06:00

Today, I bought shampoos and household chemicals and was heading home on my bike when it started to rain. I felt a weird burning sensation down my back so I stopped and got off the bike. My backpack and jeans were covered in foam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 458

You deserved it 388

By teeth - 30/01/2009 18:23 - United States

Today, I meant to forward an email to my friend mocking a coworker's email, but I hit "reply" instead of "forward". FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 235

You deserved it 45 760

By uglyyyyy - 28/10/2009 20:19 - United States

Today, I was working my job at Sephora when I overheard two women talking. One of them asked her friend, "Is being pretty a requirement to work here?" Her friend turned to see me, turned back to her friend and said, "I guess not." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 883

You deserved it 3 244

By Charon - 09/10/2009 22:11 - United States

Today, I asked a girl I like to homecoming. I brought her to my house beforehand for dinner with my family. My brother asked her whether we were just friends or dating, she shouts "Just friends!" and then starts flirting with him with me in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 304

You deserved it 3 813

By Dump Tump - 29/03/2019 22:00

Today, my flute broke. I have an exam coming tomorrow and all repair shops are closed. I guess I’ll have to lose £150. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 716

You deserved it 159

Fetch!

By Anonymous - 07/04/2020 17:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were throwing a toy for his dog. He threw it, and I turned my head in that direction, looking for almost a minute before realizing he didn't actually throw it. He's still amused because, "even the dog was smart enough not to fall for that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 775

By Anonymous - 29/09/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 594

You deserved it 3 375

By Peekaboo - 26/08/2011 17:25 - United States

Today, I learned that the "If I can't see you, you can't see me." rule is entirely false. Just because I can't initially see my creepy neighbor, doesn't mean he isn't watching me change my clothes through the blinds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 944

You deserved it 3 864

Sprinkler system

By missed - 25/06/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 1 259

By Hotdamnthisismyjam - 16/06/2009 00:32 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest ugliest man at the table looks me over then stares at my chest. He then starts to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 045

You deserved it 6 586

Thanks for your help

By Anonymous - 07/05/2021 20:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, after sacrificing multiple weekends to help my kid brother with his various projects, I asked him to help me with one of mine. He nearly blew up at the thought of losing an evening of his free time on a simple task, so I postponed it to later, which means never. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 72

By Anonymous - 26/09/2015 06:40 - United States - Cary

Today, I resorted to buying some expensive flowers and sending them to my boss anonymously with a mysterious love letter, just to get her to lighten the hell up and stop constantly harassing and berating me over every little thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 164

You deserved it 2 478

By Depressed - 17/05/2016 23:16 - United States - Collierville

Today, I got a call from the head of my school dance committee saying that the dance was cancelled and the services originally hired were still expecting to be paid. The reason the dance got cancelled? One of the girls on the committee's parents wouldn't let her buy her dream dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 253

You deserved it 784

By Noname - 22/01/2009 23:27 - Canada

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 804

You deserved it 10 217

By Anonymous - 22/10/2009 03:16 - Canada

Today, for my two month anniversary, my boyfriend surprised me with a "present". He then lifted his pant leg. He had carved my initials into his leg with a knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 415

You deserved it 5 316

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 21:12 - United States - Rockville

Today, I sliced my finger on a frozen chicken cutlet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 665

You deserved it 2 769

By leafscupwin - 16/10/2012 04:16 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, the person that interviewed me for a job was the same person I called a "fat bitch" at a baseball game after she knocked over my drink while she was dancing. She recognized me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 058

You deserved it 45 108

By my kids smell bad - 25/06/2019 06:48

Today, I got into a screaming match with the mother of my kids. I told her they need to bathe more often. According to her, anything more than once a week is excessive and bad for their skin. My kids play sports and smell like puppies from the pound. She doesn’t care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 305

You deserved it 187

Simple plan

By Crish - 22/11/2020 05:05 - Italy

Spicy

Today, I was patiently explaining to my boyfriend what I liked in bed, after several weeks of unsatisfactory sex. He snapped at me and said, "80% of women fake their orgasms. Why can't you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 139

By karmaiguess - 18/10/2018 03:00

Today, I saw the guy I bullied during elementary school and tried to apologize to him. Instead, he took out a knife and stabbed me. I'm currently in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 324

You deserved it 5 067

By MikeIsMaster - 16/02/2010 10:46 - South Africa

Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 077

You deserved it 5 169

By itsEVERYWHERE - 08/03/2010 05:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 032

You deserved it 2 626

Check these out, guys!

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 13:59

Today, instead of forwarding my male boss my Covid screening results, I sent him and the entire leadership team an email offer for testosterone boosters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 686

By Anonymous - 09/02/2015 04:47 - United States - Peoria

Today, my mom asked my siblings and me for help cleaning the kitchen. After working for a half hour while all my siblings sat on the couch, I pointed out that I was the only one working. My mom thanked my siblings for not having attitudes like mine and sent me to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 317

You deserved it 3 188

By number2 - 18/10/2011 01:14 - United States

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 359

You deserved it 3 995

By AmICrappyEveryOtherDay - 02/09/2010 23:51 - Canada

Today, I received my first compliment in a really long time. It went, "Hey, you don't look like crap today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 292

You deserved it 4 291

By Ted, E. Vic - 01/05/2016 05:39 - United States

Today, my roommate admitted he spent his half of the rent money on a tattoo. It's all good though, we're just gonna get evicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 115

You deserved it 1 713

By superjstorm - 13/09/2009 14:00 - Philippines

Today, I went to the mall and couldn't find a parking spot. After circling around for 20 minutes, I finally saw a shaded spot in the uncovered parking lot area under a tree. It turns out, I parked under a coconut tree. I could tell from the coconut planted into my hood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 847

You deserved it 9 670

By NoMoreTrumpetBlowing - 14/08/2013 16:22 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 842

You deserved it 8 956

By tylerlove361 - 11/02/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 037

You deserved it 33 965

By Whybother - 20/09/2016 08:13 - United States - Hilo

Today, I'm jobless and picked up transcription work online. I typed furiously all day. I have made a grand total of $2.06. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 560

You deserved it 1 353

Rack go thwack

By Mary Anne - 03/09/2020 09:04 - United States - Denver

Today, while at work, I walked head first into the edge of a clothing rack. I was looking right at it. People saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 412

Smell good

By Anonymous - 02/12/2019 19:00 - Australia

Today, I was doing the laundry and changing the bed sheets. I found most of my underwear under my step daughters bed, when I asked her, she said that she liked the way they smelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 576

You deserved it 182

By jeph23 - 11/09/2009 20:11 - United States

Today, after picking up my 6 year old from school, he says, "Drew said his dad could beat you up." I told him that he needs to respect his own father more and stand up for me! I get home, look up his class roster and low and behold, Drew's dad beat me up in Jr. High. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 232

You deserved it 19 126

By single and not mingling - 04/06/2010 17:36 - Canada

Today, my coworker told me she knew about my secret boyfriend because she has a "sixth sense" about these things. I'm too embarrassed to tell her I'm desperately single and the last date I went on was three years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 352

You deserved it 4 009

Libertarian nightmare

By Juan Carlos - 09/09/2021 08:00

Today, when I checked on my last payroll, I realized that I pay more in taxes than I do in house bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 93

By noname - 22/12/2008 11:54 - France

Today, I decide to go to my ex-girlfriend's house to bring her stuff back. I broke up with her earlier this week after a 2 year relationship, and I'd hoped she would have realized her mistake and ask me to stay for a bit and talk. I ring the doorbell and her new boyfriend opens the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 118

You deserved it 11 088

By oooooopss - 01/04/2012 06:44 - United States - Portland

Today, I got into my car and it wouldn't start. I noticed I had left the lights on and assumed the battery was dead. Then, I couldn't get my key out of the ignition. So, I called AAA only to have the guy put my car in park and start the engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 839

You deserved it 29 415

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:10

i say, get revenge and when your picture is sleeping, blast it with a shotgun

Back_In_Action 18

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:03

Aaaah, I used to be terrified of something like that happening to me, only in my case, it was a shelf. You'll be moving that pictures, though, right?

Comments

Back_In_Action 18

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:03

Aaaah, I used to be terrified of something like that happening to me, only in my case, it was a shelf. You'll be moving that pictures, though, right?

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:15

At least it didn't hit you in the balls..

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:38

She's female. I hope it didn't hit her in the balls...

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:41

My bad, on my phone didn't see.

Zills 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 22:12

I had buddy who had swords mountain above his bed and he kept his knife collection on a shelf below it. That'd be a real fyl/uber ydi. Op ydi for being stupid.

Zills 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 22:14

mounted*

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Thursday 18 February 2010 23:26

YDI for not having it secured properly.

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Friday 19 February 2010 0:04

Was the picture of Chris Brown or something....because if it was YDI.

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Friday 19 February 2010 2:21

how do u know it's a bot

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Friday 19 February 2010 4:04

Rowdy neighbors havin' a good time last night?

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Friday 19 February 2010 4:51

no offence but YDI for not reliasing that the pic was gonna fall

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Friday 19 February 2010 4:58

smack bang? lol

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Friday 19 February 2010 5:09

averizzle no need to say my bad, all you say is: well he/she is a tranny. problem solved

helo2 0

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Friday 19 February 2010 5:31

underfailer lol

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Friday 19 February 2010 5:40

@14# Happy Thoughts :)

cookiepookie123 0

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Friday 19 February 2010 6:08

ouch... 

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Friday 19 February 2010 6:41

haha that would so happen to me :)

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Friday 19 February 2010 7:48

Wow, your life must be fucked now because a picture frame hit you in the face. YDI. Stop being a pussy and get over it.

ilovefatcats 12

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Saturday 20 March 2010 6:32

#14 she's a girl anyway I had that happen to me exept the glass broke, there was a gash on my forhead and my nose wouldn't stop bleeding : P

ilovefatcats 12

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Saturday 20 March 2010 6:35

#97 I LOVE ur picture it made me laugh soooo hard XD

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Thursday 22 July 2010 18:35

that happened to my friend except the corner of the pictureframe hit her in the mouth and knocked out two teeth.

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Thursday 8 August 2013 22:35

What a feat

fueledbyellie 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:04

And why were you awake, walking under a picture late at night? Ow either way, though.

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:06

Some people have walls near their beds. Some even have four walls, and call it a bedroom. Silly people.

repyourcliche 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:08

lol OP's not at hogwarts... it's probably above her bed.

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:09

when did he say he/she was awake?? fucking retard

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Thursday 18 February 2010 21:20

YDI for sleeping under a picture

nmsm 1

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Thursday 18 February 2010 21:34

YDI for saying smack-bang

cady2 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 22:30

second that!

ZombieBunnies 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 23:01

Hogwarts?! WTF?!? Is this a new book? Harry Potter and the Deadly Hanging Pictures.

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Friday 19 February 2010 10:23

harry's most formidable foe yet... frames hanging from walls

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Saturday 20 February 2010 5:48

agreed 42 fucking idiot for hanging a picture on top of your head stuuuupidddd

ilovefatcats 12

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Saturday 20 March 2010 6:37

#2 the pic was probaly over her bed

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:07

facepalm! everything happens for a reason, you deserved it!

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:09

shiritt, really, what the hell did that mean?

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Friday 19 February 2010 1:07

why are you replying to yourself?

helo2 0

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Friday 19 February 2010 5:32

lmfao

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Saturday 20 February 2010 7:04

Lol. I thought the same thing

FernandoTorres_fml 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:08

Were you robbing a museum? Because that would explain why it was midnight, and why your face was so close to a picture.

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Thursday 18 February 2010 22:16

Perhaps the picture was hanging above the OP's bed and she was asleep..

helo2 0

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Friday 19 February 2010 5:34

hahahahaha

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:09

Could've been worse. It could've been a piece of your ceiling.

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:10

i say, get revenge and when your picture is sleeping, blast it with a shotgun

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:10

sir, i love your comment!

repyourcliche 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:54

http://media.photobucket.com/image/people%20loling/TheBroozer/loling-1.png?t=1258388546 me due to your comment.

ringmybell_fml 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 21:25

here, here!

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Friday 19 February 2010 0:24

#12 I love your picture :-)

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:14

I worry about this as well, but it would be razor wire falling on my face, so I sleep with my head protected at all times.

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:20

That's unfortunate.

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:36

It is quite calming actually... when I'm not trying to sleep.

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:59

I meant unfortunate that you protect your head. I'm all for razor wire in your face.

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Friday 19 February 2010 7:20

^win

Residence_fml 4

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:17

Well perhaps you shouldn't hang a picture above your bed then? But I got one hanging there too so fyourlife OP I just hope you move that picture for national security

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:17

Lol - Hope you weren't hurt, that would make it a true FML

mylifeisaverage9 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:19

FYL indeed. This one actually made me laugh.

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Friday 19 February 2010 7:41

This made me laugh too. (:

Nearly

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 6

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 12

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 1 670

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 185