By Anonymous - 17/08/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 325
You deserved it 3 844

Same thing different taste

Top comments

"his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas" Where the hell do you find these expressions?

So that's where he is! Kindly tell my father to come home and take his meds.


What exactly does a corpse's shoe face look like?

morganrules123 10

You should have told him that you were Harry's half-sister and that you didn't like him spreading lies about the royal family.

Aw cmon OP. He may be ugly, his breath may be horrid, and he may be a liar but.... Oh god damnit

nonelikeworms 0

I love the metaphors and imagery :)

‘Satan's ass gas,’ I am so using that.

16, better yet, what does 'satan's ass gas' smell like?

alliewillie 22

I am truly failing to see how your life is f*cked because a smelly guy talked to you in line at the post office. When did this site go from genuinely awful/funny/ironic stories to whiny bitches complaining about the most mundane things? Everyone has had to talk to someone with bad breath - somehow the rest of us are carrying on our lives.

18 hey I take offense you must be the spawn of ‘SATAN'S ASS GAS,' yes! I used that sentence.

Best written F My Life ever! Satans ass gas!!! Love it! Stealing it!

Pixxio_O 11

If I were you, I would propose to him right then

This FML was annoying as **** to read, with all the quaint simile's you're throwing around.

Sacurason 0

So...did his face have the Nike symbol inscribed on it?

#60 6-month-old, moldy rotten eggs mixed with elephant manure and burning corpses.

Shadow_Phantom 26

That's not a nice thing to say about Satan. Jerk. :/

I would've first taken this comment as sarcasm but.. Idk anymore...

-2 I'm sorry for being unfunny for a minute, but, why do you choose to worship a deity that is self proclaimed evil? Do you find no problem with that? Or am I missing the point? I believe most likely a god does not exist, but do not completely dismiss some ideas of him. So why, is that your belief?

Shadow_Phantom 26

I'm going to just message you through the PM system about this; though I'll say here, you ARE missing the point. That, and He is not evil... or a monster. :D

But of course He's just a misunderstood child with a bad background of ******* over all of human life since the beginning of time Crazy to think I've been wrong about him my whole life

Shadow_Phantom 26

Please just PM me about this... otherwise they might shut down the FML comments. >:

eminemchick 19

how did a period get nine thumbs up? impressive :O

alphatoomega 21
sweetheartxoxo88 7

Which psych ward did he escape from?

Hi_I_am_Q 0

The same one Hannibal Lector escaped from...

Is it just me or does satan's ass gas sound like a hardcore band?....... Just me okay...

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

OP how do u know what satins ass smells like??

WellThatSucksMaj 0

Damn I hope you got his number!

skata 4

78- I imagine since that satin is a fabric, it wouldn't smell that bad, unless Satan happened to put his ass gas on it.

Xx_Dakota_xX 1
bizarre_ftw 21

Dakota & skata: you guys are funny as Shit!!!! XD no ******* joke! Thank You for being alive!!!!!! XD!!!!!

36- actually i think it sounds like that too

So that's where he is! Kindly tell my father to come home and take his meds.

Nah. Way too funny FML to bring him in already.

lakaiskate 12

I like OP figurative language. Helped me visualise this man.

Shadow_Phantom 26

YDI for saying rude things about Satan.

"his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas" Where the hell do you find these expressions?

i know right the rest of it was funny and then the last partwas a huge turn off.

IndiRae 9

And the rest you were turned ON by? I think that you might have pretty big problems, buddy.

I think I'm in love with your descriptive abilities :)

I had the liberty of smelling Satan's ass gas. I had 3 heart attacks at the same time and instantly caught on fire. So that's the FML part!

yamatelle 19

How in the name of Satan's ass crack did you get out of this one alive?!?!

-40 Same thing I do every time, rape the damn thing... Satan was harder to rape than usual but it turned out ok.

StopDropNRoll 11

Climbed his way out of the farthest depths of hades?

StopDropNRoll 11

Or I could be wrong and he could just pull a bin Ladin (like in south park ^_^)

yamatelle 19

You've got some great survival techniques! I think we could all learn from you.

-49 Bro, when you're a prostitute, you have to learn these things.

46- . . . Hades is the God of the Underworld, not the underworld itself.

SinfulTragedy 19

86 you can refer to the place as Hades or the underworld. The god of the underworld is also called Hades :)

Also I think its Saddam Hussain who ***** Satan on south park.

being friends with a prince could be very useful... go on