Kids: Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind...

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 04:04 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 748

You deserved it 3 431

Kids

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Same thing different taste

Stealth bomber

By Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 128

Oh shit…

By half-dead in CA - 31/05/2014 16:39 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 313

You deserved it 4 011

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 17:39 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 557

You deserved it 41 795

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 147

You deserved it 3 829

By kykynevs - 23/08/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 175

You deserved it 2 856

Gross!

By Anonymous - 17/07/2014 02:49 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 289

You deserved it 4 799

By methane overload - 19/01/2013 01:32 - United States

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 197

You deserved it 3 826

Basic communication

By Tim - 16/06/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 993

You deserved it 6 013

Barf

By sickatwokr - 30/06/2015 20:26 - Australia

Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 939

You deserved it 1 865

Spooky season has begun

By Anonymous - 04/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 155

cats400 16

Saturday 5 April 2014 15:32

What is with all the foul smelling senior citizens?

CynePhoba 23

Saturday 5 April 2014 15:34

Makes you wonder if he passed more than wind if it smelt that bad.

Comments

cats400 16

Saturday 5 April 2014 15:32

What is with all the foul smelling senior citizens?

Freethaawave 19

Saturday 5 April 2014 17:11

It wasn't gramps, it was definitely the brimstone.

leary96 15

Saturday 5 April 2014 18:27

They aren't spry enough to use deodorant anymore?

lexiieeex3 32

Saturday 5 April 2014 18:59

39- You're not supposed to put deodorant on your ass hole.

Alastor13X 8

Saturday 5 April 2014 19:56

^ agreed. If you want to spray some cinnamon rolls Febreeze, or a can of old spice in your asshole, go right ahead! Let me know how that turns out!

esfox83 16

Saturday 5 April 2014 23:15

Prunes

Exhaling 12

Saturday 5 April 2014 15:33

And the stain.

razi1 20

Saturday 5 April 2014 15:33

Some people nowadays need to know manners

nanxi 30

Saturday 5 April 2014 15:42

Yeah shame on an aging man for not being in total control of his bodily functions and shame on a mere child for not being able enough to control a reflex.

holliepong 8

Saturday 5 April 2014 16:19

That's totally not a problem of manner. These things are uncontrollable.

ambiversion 12

Saturday 5 April 2014 16:50

agreed with 11 and 23! the OP was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, that's all. it was no one's fault really. just sandwiched between two awful smells... FYL