Kids: Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind...

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 04:04 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 772

You deserved it 3 435

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Same thing different taste

Oh shit…

By half-dead in CA - 31/05/2014 16:39 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 339

You deserved it 4 015

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 17:39 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 574

You deserved it 41 822

Stealth dog

By Anonymous - 02/06/2020 02:00

Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 616

You deserved it 241

Stealth bomber

By Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 136

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 055

You deserved it 3 425

By kykynevs - 23/08/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 191

You deserved it 2 866

Barf

By sickatwokr - 30/06/2015 20:26 - Australia

Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 958

You deserved it 1 875

By Ammile - 25/12/2018 04:00

Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 917

You deserved it 200

By Anonymous - 17/07/2015 17:14 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 587

You deserved it 4 366

Own it!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 457

cats400 16

Saturday 5 April 2014 15:32

What is with all the foul smelling senior citizens?

CynePhoba 23

Saturday 5 April 2014 15:34

Makes you wonder if he passed more than wind if it smelt that bad.

Comments

cats400 16

Saturday 5 April 2014 15:32

What is with all the foul smelling senior citizens?

Freethaawave 19

Saturday 5 April 2014 17:11

It wasn't gramps, it was definitely the brimstone.

leary96 15

Saturday 5 April 2014 18:27

They aren't spry enough to use deodorant anymore?

lexiieeex3 32

Saturday 5 April 2014 18:59

39- You're not supposed to put deodorant on your ass hole.

Alastor13X 8

Saturday 5 April 2014 19:56

^ agreed. If you want to spray some cinnamon rolls Febreeze, or a can of old spice in your asshole, go right ahead! Let me know how that turns out!

esfox83 17

Saturday 5 April 2014 23:15

Prunes

Exhaling 12

Saturday 5 April 2014 15:33

And the stain.

razi1 20

Saturday 5 April 2014 15:33

Some people nowadays need to know manners

nanxi 30

Saturday 5 April 2014 15:42

Yeah shame on an aging man for not being in total control of his bodily functions and shame on a mere child for not being able enough to control a reflex.

holliepong 8

Saturday 5 April 2014 16:19

That's totally not a problem of manner. These things are uncontrollable.

ambiversion 12

Saturday 5 April 2014 16:50

agreed with 11 and 23! the OP was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, that's all. it was no one's fault really. just sandwiched between two awful smells... FYL