By charmed - 12/08/2016 08:53
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Any unwanted physical contact, though perhaps not always a legal infraction, gives a person every right to feel violated, even if they didn't say no. A yes is really what should have happened there to make it 100% okay. Plus, if the homeless man has such poor hygiene it stands to reason that she wouldn't want germs from his hand or from his mouth to touch her. He may just not have given her the opportunity to say no, since it doesn't take very long to grab someone's hand and kiss it.
it's just a compliment. it's not like he yelled, "hey nice tits!!" at you from across the street or something. he kissed your hand, which is really not in any way violent or sexual assault. if you didn't want it then you could have just went on your way and ignored him. it shouldn't matter what he looked/smelled like. it just sounds like he gave you a compliment and left you alone. not really an fml.
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chill the fuck out
I might be wrong, but I think #8 was probably reacting to the part where OP said they felt violated. It isn't always very nice when people touch your hands or kiss them and I can understand OP feeling grossed out, I can also understand #8 being irritated by people saying to take it as a compliment. The words would have been fine but add the hand kissing in and clearly he was touching OP when she didn't want to be, even if it was on the hand, it can be really uncomfortable and horrible.
I'm guessing you are one of those people that doesn't quite grasp the fact that "implicit consent" is a load of bullshit? Because, you know, there are reasons someone might be too scared to say no (person making the advances is larger and stronger" or when someone might be unable to consent or not (such as being asleep, under the effects of drugs including alcohol.) To explain it so you can understand- saying that someone has to say "no" to someone trying to do something to their body is like saying that the aggressor somehow has more of a right to that person's body than the actual owner of said body. So, by your logic, I would have consent to knock you out, tied you down, and remove your organs to sell on the black market as long as you don't say 'no' or 'stop.' There's also the fact that laws are increasingly acknowledging that it isn't "no means no" when it comes to sexual acts, it's "only a yes given without the influence of drugs, booze, social pressure or the fear of injury is an actual yes."
He was just being nice, it was a compliment. It's not like he groped you or did anything inappropriate, cheer up OP. Although his described appearance is horrible, just appreciate the gesture.
At least you know there's still a little bit of hope.