Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML
Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my girlfriend telling me to call when I wake up. Turns out she had one of her friends over who tested positive for Covid and I was just at her house, so now I’m forced to quarantine. FML
Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML
Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML
Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML
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Top comments
toxic_walrus 15
She gave you chlamydia AND has bad taste in music? You sure know how to pick em!
tj4234 36
Hey, i just ****** you. And this is crazy. I have chlamydia. So now you do maybe. Also, Sirin is the best, she's so cool. I wish she were my mum and all.
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Comments (224)
Queen_of_Night 20
Always Wrap it before you Tap it OP.
Ziggy122 15
Hey, I've never met you, and this is silly. But maybe you should've wrapped your willy.
ChristianSaade 4
YDI for not wearin a condom OP:/
Bossgirlhana 15
Well, take this as a learning experience.
AuroraTenkara 9
At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get Chlamydia...and die.
itooamscrewed 10
If only there were something you could wear during sex to prevent diseases that was cheap and effective!
DomiLove 26
Chlamydia is treatable, so it's not really attempted murder. If it was herpes or AIDS that'd be a completely different story. Sorry that was for 96 :/
emily4040 18
Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I just gave you Chlamydiaa
juanschwartz 18
******* brilliant
ryskusarts 10
That's a charge for attempted murder... If you have sex with someone and they don't tell you they have an STI... Sue her OP
glabberfasted 16
She did tell him. That's the entire FML.
rocker_chick23 27
There are two things wrong with your comment. The first one is that Chlamydia isn't deadly so no it's not even close to being attempted murder, The second one is, the girl could have just found out she had Chlamydia.
martin8337 36
Too bad you don't have herpes, That'll fix her.
metheonlyb 17
Doesn't matter, had sex! :D