Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML
Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my girlfriend telling me to call when I wake up. Turns out she had one of her friends over who tested positive for Covid and I was just at her house, so now I’m forced to quarantine. FML
Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML
Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML
Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML
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Top comments
toxic_walrus 15
She gave you chlamydia AND has bad taste in music? You sure know how to pick em!
tj4234 36
Hey, i just ****** you. And this is crazy. I have chlamydia. So now you do maybe. Also, Sirin is the best, she's so cool. I wish she were my mum and all.
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Comments (224)
can_you_not_ 10
At least it's curable... Sorry OP!
DarkPoet_fml 5
Hey I just met you and this is crazy. It burns when I pee it might soon for you maybe
RedPillSucks 33
Maybe that's the name of your new daughter?
Dif_fml 12
I posted something similar a couple weeks ago but his made it? Bullcrap! Mine was better.
tbart13 7
I really don't understand why people don't tell the person they're going to have sex with that they have some sort of STD. It's really messed up.
limabeans101029 21
She might not have known. Chlamydia shows no symptoms in 80% of the women who have it.
vikky538 29
well STD may be...
Strider207 5
I feel bad for you, but you really should practice safe sex...
kaoticroy 10
So here's my number
cheshireau 26
That's why I always make guys were condoms. I don't care if you hate them, I don't want what you may not know you have.
mannatee 19
You can sue for that, can't you?
rocker_chick23 27
What's he going to say? "Your honor, I slept with a woman I barely knew, and didn't use a condom." He will lose in court for being a huge dumbass. Not to mention the way the FML is worded, she just found out she had Chlamydia.