Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML
Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my girlfriend telling me to call when I wake up. Turns out she had one of her friends over who tested positive for Covid and I was just at her house, so now I’m forced to quarantine. FML
Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML
Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML
Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML
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Top comments
toxic_walrus 15
She gave you chlamydia AND has bad taste in music? You sure know how to pick em!
tj4234 36
Hey, i just ****** you. And this is crazy. I have chlamydia. So now you do maybe. Also, Sirin is the best, she's so cool. I wish she were my mum and all.
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Comments (224)
Dcm210 19
Did you use protection?
asherm 15
Just be glad that's one still treatable by antibiotics. Now there's a strain of Gonorrhea that's now antibiotic resistant. Ick!
kalbrek009 20
YDI, OP for not "suiting up" before the dive.
vlalam 24
that sucks
Dr_Eeevil 7
Should've worn a condom :/ but still that sucks man
AnonymousAlpaca1 18
We met last night at the club, Went back to my place, made love, But I have Chlamydia, You caught my STD. You better get yourself checked Or else your junk will be wrecked. You should have put on a rubber, baby. Don't blame me. Hey yeah I messed up. But you should have guessed it. Get down to the clinic, And get tested, baby! Hey I just met you. Sorry, it's crazy, But I infected you. It can be cured, maybe.
Maycontainnuts 17
181 - Ahahahah this is great!
mkayden 23
Next time you shouldn't be a fool and wrap your tool.
SasquatchDeluxe 10
That's what you get for not using protection.
GetBent730 5
Well, it could be worse. It could've been herpes. She could have not told u. Go to the clinic, take penicillin for a week or so, and now u got a funny ass story to tell! (Just say it happened to a friend instead of u tho lol)
KingreX32 21
oh shit!!!