Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my older brother gave me his old phone. He didn't realize that he hadn't deleted his pictures. I found a bunch of him wearing my underwear and bras. FML
Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML
Today, my little brother left the house with my phone by accident. He called from his school to ask for my password so he could access his email. When he got home and gave me my phone back, while closing the open apps, my photo gallery was open. When I clicked on it, my naked selfie was open. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Out of the blue, and just as I read the punchline to a hilarious joke, he said his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I couldn't stifle my side-splitting laughter, and he's been ignoring my calls since. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my sister and I have been in a prank war. She spammed my phone with dozens of random dick pics from the internet. My boyfriend saw and accused me of cheating. Now he won’t talk to me, and my sister won’t help me explain things. Guess she won. FML
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Top comments
funktown 2
why are u on fml and not plotting ur revenge?
RileyL29 0
I would send out a mass text that if anyone received anything from you it was a prank your idiot brother was playing.
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Comments (53)
sara117 0
wow, sorry op
KingGeorgeGal 12
What did you do to deserve that? & just tell all your friends what really happened!
yummycupkake 0
don't go to sleep angry tonight, OP. stay up late and plot your revenge! :D
The_Weirdo 10
Take his phone and tell his girlfriend he has Aids.
Susieee_Q 9
You're never too old for a sibling joke.
genesisnirvana 11
it would be so ironic if OP ended up actually having chlamydia
CaptSkippy 9
^win
1molinamatt 5
Hahaha the ultamite prank :p
partyfool2011 4
28- then she found out just after she told her friends that she didn't
CasualZombie 6
sexually texted diseases spread fast.
ChickenInMyKitch 4
the part that really made me laugh was the last sentence oh man
a_nutritionist 10
@59 how odd, thats the part that made me roll my eyes. like goofing around is something people should stop doing at a certain age.
kaynorr 9
brothers ftw
oliviarahhxoxo 7
you never grow up :p
whiteboy7thst 2
*I never grow up
xleanne_aLly 23
damn straight
MrFlintstone 5
nope just out
blondie1208 17
little asshole.
KingGeorgeGal 12
*big.
JellyRollz202 0
30 I kno this is irrelevant to the subject but your comments seriously piss me off.
blondie1208 17
Ok. That's your opinion.
MaskingTape 2
I agree with 19. I think FML should only let those >18 comment.
blondie1208 17
what's the big deal? it's not like I'm 6? I'm 15. I can comment if I want, just like you can. so chill out. thanks.
maddie2015 0
hb no. we have facebooks too. get over it. we have rights to and it's so easy to say you're over 18 years old. okay u dnt like her opinion. oh well who cares. 1 opinion over how many but saying that only adults can have a FML is gonna piss the world off.
a_nutritionist 10
i dont think i remember there being a right to "and it's so easy to say you're over 18 years old". by the way, 1 opinion? clearly not. 10 thumbs up suggests otherwise. congrats on having facebook though, we are all really impressed.
powderpuffjord13 0
lol thats actually pretty funny. I think it builds a better relationship with siblings faster...
KGBelle24 7
63, it's teens like you that cause people to look down upon those of our generation. Please show yourself to the door.
FLY_GUY 0
WOW that's ****** up smh
RileyL29 0
I would send out a mass text that if anyone received anything from you it was a prank your idiot brother was playing.
Lauren10102 3
He is still never going to live that down no matter what he does at this point.
raymel 5
haha get back at him by doing something Worse ^.^
maffy4ever 8
He's your brother, you can get him back without getting in much trouble.
bigmanj28 0
Say to your friends 'Who do you think I got it from?'
bigmanj28 0
Crap I read it wrong
UnderJonathan 8
Epic Fail.
a_nutritionist 10
toilet seat bro, toilet seat...its been proven in undocumented urban legends everywhere that toilet seats harbour the sti's of anyone who sits on them. dont argue, its science.
ceepevoy 0
Not winning
funktown 2
why are u on fml and not plotting ur revenge?
blastedcamera 0
IKR!
dewby98 0
definately
BaconDave 12
"If you are around town and someone says I have chlamydia, they're wrong" I was trying to quote Easy A, but I might of butchered it.