Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to buy a wrist brace for a repetitive strain injury. I got the injury because I was knitting too much. I'm 22. FML
Today, I sprained my bicep. The urgent care doctor told me to take it easy on weight lifting. When I told him I hurt myself holding a book, he had to leave the room because he couldn’t stop laughing. FML
Today, I sprained my wrist playing Guitar Hero. The ER doctor called all of his coworkers in to hear my story. They all laughed. FML
Today, I told my family how my wrist has been hurting for almost a week. My aunt’s chiropractor boyfriend then decided he could help by suddenly pulling my hand as hard as he could. Not only did my wrist pop and cause me more pain, but my shoulder got dislocated. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML
Today, my younger brother complained yet again of soreness in his wrist. Frustrated with his constant whining, my mother turned to him and snapped, 'Well, what have you been using it for all this time then!?' The awkward silence of realisation for them both won't go away anytime soon. FML
Today, I was getting up from sitting on the floor. I lent on the coffee table to help support my weight and heard a pop. I'd bruised the tendons in my wrist and now have to wear a wrist guard for 6 weeks. FML
Today, I went to the hospital to get a cast that I have been wearing for the past three months removed from my wrist. Thanks to said cast, I couldn't have any summer fun at all. The doctor took a final X-ray and said, "Well look at that, your wrist wasn't fractured to begin with." FML
Today, I sprained an arm muscle while pretending to lift weights. FML
Today, my doctor told me that I have severely and permanently injured my shoulder. Last week, I attempted to lift more weight than I normally do in an effort to impress my boyfriend. He was not impressed. In fact he said that most kids can lift more than that. FML
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Top comments
SomeonethingStup 0
lol, Masturbating is now officially a sport and is approved by Doctors.
wtfismyfml 0
sexersise
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Comments (161)
strawberry_78 0
Yeah, time to switch hands or get a toy :)
mafi0 0
trying to beat my personal best right now
B_Foxy 0
This guy in my school told me he's masturbated 17 times in one day. 17 times! How do you do that?! Geesh!
alwaysalady 0
That shocks me. how can they mastrurbate 17 times in a day but only keep at it with a woman for 15 minutes before it's spent?
Towelie_31 0
i don't think i'd want to jackoff 17 times in one day. if you keep going after the 15th time you're just trying to be a showoff
fantomix_fml 0
Well most younger guys can do it every half an hour. Apparently it's supposed to make you really deppressed though.
Holybatman 16
A friend of mine has a record of 21 times in one day. His right arm, especially the forearm, is huge, and a lot bigger than his left one.
DameGreyWulf 1
Uh, no, actually, masturbation/sexual release is actually reccommended for alleviating depression. Try again.
lillonely 2
Ooooohhh... So is that why my chronic depression has been seeming to go away? ;D
dr_octagonapus47 4
Bc he took horny goat weed and had no lady to use it on
bnovek84 0
nice haha
perdix 31
So, which version do you play? The one where you go for accuracy or distance?
CyclonePsycho 1
Don't forget freestyle. OP: Dear grass that's funny. xD
perdix 31
Thanks for reminding me. One of the worst jobs out there. 1) Commercial fisherman 2) Crack ***** 3) Monkey-spanking Judge: Freestyle.
Halti 4
legend
penizulaface 0
oh god... i dont think ive ever heard anyone under sixty actually say "twit"...
Weevil_fml 0
I assume you're not English then. It's quite common there, which is where the OP hails from. I prefer "twat" myself though, as it packs more of a punch.
Fop 6
I'm 14 and I'd say "twit." It just doesn't cut it as compared to "twat" or "nitwit" though.
Skullcrusher 5
Ahh! An admitted monkeyspanker!
jessxoxo28 5
LMAO!!! wow, thats disgusting but hilarious at the same time. ur doc must be creeped out
CyclonePsycho 1
Eh, doubt it. He probably gets this all the time.
Sakata_Gintoki 0
Ge out and go find a girl. u did it 2 often, u must b doin that 3 times a day and 3 hrs a time
snapdragon1100 7
You need to learn how to type.
EbonyGoddess 0
haha awkward!!!!