Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I had to buy a wrist brace for a repetitive strain injury. I got the injury because I was knitting too much. I'm 22. FML
Today, I sprained my bicep. The urgent care doctor told me to take it easy on weight lifting. When I told him I hurt myself holding a book, he had to leave the room because he couldn’t stop laughing. FML
Today, I sprained my wrist playing Guitar Hero. The ER doctor called all of his coworkers in to hear my story. They all laughed. FML
Today, I told my family how my wrist has been hurting for almost a week. My aunt’s chiropractor boyfriend then decided he could help by suddenly pulling my hand as hard as he could. Not only did my wrist pop and cause me more pain, but my shoulder got dislocated. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML
Today, my younger brother complained yet again of soreness in his wrist. Frustrated with his constant whining, my mother turned to him and snapped, 'Well, what have you been using it for all this time then!?' The awkward silence of realisation for them both won't go away anytime soon. FML
Today, I was getting up from sitting on the floor. I lent on the coffee table to help support my weight and heard a pop. I'd bruised the tendons in my wrist and now have to wear a wrist guard for 6 weeks. FML
Today, I went to the hospital to get a cast that I have been wearing for the past three months removed from my wrist. Thanks to said cast, I couldn't have any summer fun at all. The doctor took a final X-ray and said, "Well look at that, your wrist wasn't fractured to begin with." FML
Today, I sprained an arm muscle while pretending to lift weights. FML
Today, my doctor told me that I have severely and permanently injured my shoulder. Last week, I attempted to lift more weight than I normally do in an effort to impress my boyfriend. He was not impressed. In fact he said that most kids can lift more than that. FML
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Top comments
SomeonethingStup 0
lol, Masturbating is now officially a sport and is approved by Doctors.
wtfismyfml 0
sexersise
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Comments (161)
Licorish 0
@#114. I'm very glad that you have a firm grasp of the obvious.
NoteMyGrin 0
Hah, OP, you're cute. (:
COBRAMORPH 0
Honestly, Masturbating is so gay. You are getting pleasure from a dude. Doesnt matter if it is you, you are a dude. So therefore gay. As for chicks, its not hot. Thankfully, I can say that as a 28 yr old guy I have never had to **********, (its the GF's job) nor will I ever stoop so low.
kwan613 0
masturbating is gay cuz ur getting pleasure from a dude? who is urself? cmon son...ur an idiot....thats like saying if u massage ur leg cuz it hurts ur gay cuz ur getting pleasure from urself.....dumb ****...... n u aint never beat it in ur life? dats funny dude.....how'd u build up ur stamina? bet tha 1st time u banged a girl u were shakin like a leaf n it lasted 10 secs.....was it embarassing? well....if u had masturbated before u woulda lasted longer...but i guess up on ur high abstinent horse u dint kno that....
DameGreyWulf 1
Masturbating helps one find what they love, so they can tell their partner. It also provides necessary sexual release to those with higher sex drives, especially for those with partners with lower sex drives (which reduces the stress of sexual performance in the relationship). It also can be used to alleviate and balance some mood disorders, especially Depression (obviously depends on the person, though). And, of course, it can teach a man how to last and a girl how to reduce the time it takes to reach ****** (at least, that's what it's done for me). Not such a sorry course after all, mm? Now, I can believe you've never spanked the monkey, but I can't believe you've never had a wet dream. What about that? It's so gay that you got yourself hard and came, while you were asleep even! Kinky ******, aren'tcha? Ah, and obligatory "What's wrong with being gay?"
goman222 0
the reply before this is full of ultimate, overpowering win. snap.
heeej 0
I'm gonna tell you a little secret #122 as for your "As for chicks, its not hot." comment. We don't do it so guys can find it hot.
jaackaay 3
hahahaha! that's pretty funny.
nobridgejustwate 0
...the OP's definitely not talking about playing xbox. What he IS playing it a very interesting instrument.
lxclark 17
Hahah made me rofl.
lxclark 17
Haha oh how embarrassing.
moi101 0
a twit is the technical term for a pregnant goldfish
Spamakaze 0
#134 we learn something every day I suppose...
hellokeroppi 5
o you naughty :B haha
tohaveandtohold 0
damn, how often is to often?