Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was supposed to be let the bull out of the trailer and head straight home. Someone didn't latch the gate, so it just walked through between pastures. The bull and a cow went through, a horse broke into the cow lot, and another horse had a meltdown and wiped out in mud after trying to jump the fence. I don't like beef cattle. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML
Today, as I was going to check the mail, a huge dog ran into my house. The closest room with a door was the bathroom so I slammed myself inside and screamed for help. We live far from any neighbors and my phone was outside, so there was no hope of rescue. It paced outside the door for four hours. FML
Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML
Today, when I stepped outside, I found out my neighbors forgot to leash their mean-ass dog when he promptly started charging at me. If not for the black cat who lives outside my house, who I've fed before, jumping in and somehow single-handedly whooping his ass, I'd probably be dead. You don't fuck with stray cats. FML
Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML
Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML
Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying, "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML
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Top comments
PrincessPesa 20
Maybe you can ask the owners of the small farm down the street to come pick up their rogue irregular bull? Just be sure to stay between him and the fine china to avert a real catastrophe.
andyyroxx 20
15- I really want to cover golf balls in sandpaper and shove them up your asshole after reading your comment. Come on now.
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Comments (95)
xxEternalRain 13
Wtf does that mean?
brackaman 18
Irregular. Meaning not regular or normal. For further definitions, consult a dictionary or google.
olls 3
Try moving it away, if it doesn't budge some have nose rings that you gently pull and the bull should follow, I work on a farm, it works for me
gatorgurl2996 6
xStaciexLynnx 15
You can't sue animal control for not coming and getting a bull out of your yard. They're not any better equipped to handle a bull than a random person walking down the street. Here's an easier and cheaper solution: 1. Call the farm it came from and they can easily handle it and remove it. 2. Get on with life.
Lord_of_Trolls 7
This is why I own a gun.
codyjohn17 5
Really, that's bullshit!
willard3663 20
I own two bulls that I can personally walk up to any day of the week and rub their heads most bulls aren't mean it's that people are scared of them then when the bull makes the slightest move (most bulls weigh close to 2000 lbs so any move is a big move but you know) they freak out and run try running from one then stopping turning and looking at it when it charging most of the time they will stop and stare back or run on past I've done it my advice OP is just walk out your door and put your fear behind you walk up to him with your arms out making noise and hell leave
Surge5560 20
Bulls are actually color blind.
CrookedCook 14
@50 it's because you were such a kill joy.
NicollieO 7
That's bull-shit