Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was supposed to be let the bull out of the trailer and head straight home. Someone didn't latch the gate, so it just walked through between pastures. The bull and a cow went through, a horse broke into the cow lot, and another horse had a meltdown and wiped out in mud after trying to jump the fence. I don't like beef cattle. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML
Today, as I was going to check the mail, a huge dog ran into my house. The closest room with a door was the bathroom so I slammed myself inside and screamed for help. We live far from any neighbors and my phone was outside, so there was no hope of rescue. It paced outside the door for four hours. FML
Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML
Today, when I stepped outside, I found out my neighbors forgot to leash their mean-ass dog when he promptly started charging at me. If not for the black cat who lives outside my house, who I've fed before, jumping in and somehow single-handedly whooping his ass, I'd probably be dead. You don't fuck with stray cats. FML
Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML
Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML
Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying, "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML
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Top comments
PrincessPesa 20
Maybe you can ask the owners of the small farm down the street to come pick up their rogue irregular bull? Just be sure to stay between him and the fine china to avert a real catastrophe.
andyyroxx 20
15- I really want to cover golf balls in sandpaper and shove them up your asshole after reading your comment. Come on now.
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Comments (95)
starcrossddream 14
That's unfortunate OP; one of the many joys of county life. I've had escaped horses, cows, and goats in the neighborhood growing up, but never a bull.
Dramori 29
Kill it - free steak! :)
Enslaved 38
Call your local news reporter. Not too long ago, I watched a story about an escaped bear that winded up in some guy's swimming pool. Funny as hell!
morgeon 2
As others have said, call the farm. My Dad raises beef cattle so trust me the farmer is used to getting calls about strays. And as for the color red, cows are color blind. It's the movement that pisses off fighting bulls. A green cape would be just as effective to a matador.
LovesSushi 25
I remember getting a call because a woman hit our cow with her car. We would always get calls from our cows getting out, eating the neighbors.grass. Stupid cows, but they sure tasted good!
ctlnaaia71 8
So? Call the little farm owners and tell them their bull is on your property, to go and get it.
LizHoy24 5
what the hell do they classify as a regular animal?!?!
Special_Psycho 8
Well, 62, that's just bull (no pun intended). Animal control should handle all animals. I get it'd be more money spent on training but it'd also be more money spent on making this place safer.
TechnoStew 21
Raccoons, cats, etc. I guess? I bet animal control only knows how to deal with small critters and dogs.
perdix 31
Good thing it's irregular -- otherwise it would crap all over your yard and you don't need that kind of bullshit!
a1f0sff 25
I apologize, 16, for not reading your comment thoroughly. 18, why so? Have you ever seen a bullfight or even know about it?
IAmJad 18
Tell them that that's bullshit.
ViviMage 40
Call the police and tell them you are afraid for your safety. They can shoot it with a tranquilizer dart, or a bullet.