Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was supposed to be let the bull out of the trailer and head straight home. Someone didn't latch the gate, so it just walked through between pastures. The bull and a cow went through, a horse broke into the cow lot, and another horse had a meltdown and wiped out in mud after trying to jump the fence. I don't like beef cattle. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML
Today, as I was going to check the mail, a huge dog ran into my house. The closest room with a door was the bathroom so I slammed myself inside and screamed for help. We live far from any neighbors and my phone was outside, so there was no hope of rescue. It paced outside the door for four hours. FML
Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML
Today, when I stepped outside, I found out my neighbors forgot to leash their mean-ass dog when he promptly started charging at me. If not for the black cat who lives outside my house, who I've fed before, jumping in and somehow single-handedly whooping his ass, I'd probably be dead. You don't fuck with stray cats. FML
Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML
Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML
Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying, "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML
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Top comments
PrincessPesa 20
Maybe you can ask the owners of the small farm down the street to come pick up their rogue irregular bull? Just be sure to stay between him and the fine china to avert a real catastrophe.
andyyroxx 20
15- I really want to cover golf balls in sandpaper and shove them up your asshole after reading your comment. Come on now.
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Comments (95)
andyyroxx 20
15- I really want to cover golf balls in sandpaper and shove them up your asshole after reading your comment. Come on now.
ribbons 23
When I was growing up, my mother would herd the neighbours' bull back to it's yard with a broom. However, I wouldn't recommend this for you, as my mother is crazy scary when wielding a broom... You can always try throwing cut carrots and apples away from the house in hopes that it will go and eat them and leave you alone. Once your neighbours come pick up their truant bull, make sure they fix their fence really well, as this may turn into a reoccurring problem otherwise. Good luck, OP!
DarkJediLove 19
Your mom sounds like a pretty awesome lady!
horneyhic 15
Call the cops they'll find the owner
AngrySox 8
Well let's be reasonable; who the hell wants to deal with a bull?
Reaper1984 13
oh thats bullshit
LovesSushi 25
Try and find a sexy cow to seduce the bull. You do know how to tell the difference between a sexy cow and an ugly one, right?
cgchamp89 7
Enlighten me please. I have been on the search for a sexy cow for quite some time now... Every one of them I find is ugly and they have black dirt spots on them
LovesSushi 25
A sexy cow is like a unicorn. If you see one, you're probably drunk.
Catkam623 27
I saw a unicorn once. I always wondered why it appeared to me in the hospital. Maybe it was getting its appendix taken out too. That or maybe it was friends with the blue wolf I'd seen earlier.
GiveMeLove_fml 6
Well they're a bit useless aren't they?! Try finding the farms number & see if they can come sort it out :)
AholeCop 11
Dress up like a matador and walk outside eating a hamburger. Act surprised to see the bull. He ought to leave soon enough.
Enslaved 38
I've heard that bulls don't see red like we do and the main reason the matadors uses that colour was to excite the human on lookers.(: We get the expression "to see red" from bullfighting. (:
DocBastard 40
What a load of bullshit! Don't let it bully you. You need to grab the bull by the horns, call the authorities, and have them steer it away.