Today, after getting in bed after a long day, I decided I would relieve some tension. Just as I'm ready to pop, in walks my grandma. I explode. My grandma, without missing a beat, just says, "Get cleaned up and go to bed. It's after twelve o'clock, you have to work in the morning." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I'm taking care of my bedridden, 94-year-old grandma. She woke me up at 6 a.m. only to tell me her UTI is still there. Later, she made me interrupt my 15-minute-dinner a total of 4 times because she wanted things like "more lotion in her buttcrack." FML
Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML
Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML
Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML
Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML
Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML
Today, my husband and I waited until the TV shut off at 11 p.m. in the next room to signal his grandmother had retired to her bed upstairs. After doing it on a very squeaky bed, we went out naked half an hour later to go to the restroom across the hall, only to discover his Nana laying on the couch. FML
Today, my grandma told me she likes to clean the house naked every day. I'm staying there all next week. FML
Today, my granny called me to, "Come change me please, I just peed." I interrupted what I was doing, walked over to her bed, pulled down her covers and was just about to go for the pad when she said, "Actually... I'm still peeing. Come back in a couple of minutes." FML
Today, I decided to surprise-visit my grandparents. After knocking on the door and not getting a response, I opened it and walked in. Upon entering their house and yelling, "Hello", as I turned the corner I saw my near-deaf grandmother folding clothes while watching TV. She was topless. FML
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Top comments
tounces7 28
You're another one of those people who has apparently never heard of a door lock?
kfchicken 31
nana's seen things in her time
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Comments (9)
kfchicken 31
nana's seen things in her time
jkjorn 18
"I know a thing or two because I've seen a thing or two!"
bigdikbubls 5
granny is a real one
tounces7 28
You're another one of those people who has apparently never heard of a door lock?
samomaha 17
Why do so many of the people here think that everyone has door locks on their bedroom doors? The majority of homes don't have locks on any interior door at all, with the exception of the bathroom and maybe the master bedroom. Locks for all bedrooms is a relatively recent innovation.
RichardPencil 32
She probably knew that your grandpa and your dad were big wankers, so she expected that from you.
BurnInDemonFire 39
If you can't lock your bedroom door, save the self-love for when you're in the shower.
Jonkbaby 23
NIIICE!!!
Kaneki Chiaki 15
That's very cool Granma.
samomaha 17
I know it had to be really embarrassing, OP, but really, your grandma is pretty damned cool. Her reaction was a lot more rational than many people's would have been!