Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, despite spending literal years educating my son about safe sex and warning him not to do something stupid like get a girl pregnant at 16, he actually surpassed my expectations. He got her pregnant at 17. Plus she gave him a nasty STD. FML
Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML
Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Today, my 18 year-old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML
Today, I learned that my 18-year-old son has had more sexual partners together at one time than I've had separately in total in my life. FML
Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
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Top comments
Cortezthe1st 23
You should play along.
Trin_Tran 26
Well at least she won't be sexually active anymore ...
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Comments (83)
nchic01 17
maybe you should have given er the talk earlier!
XanderLance 19
earlier than 13...? nah idk she shouldn't be doing stuff that young anyway..
KK3137 31
I got the "talk" when I was around 9... And then again when I was 11, not because my mom thought I would be sleeping around at that age, but because it's something that kids should know so that they're prepared and safe in the future.
limabeans101029 20
37- Well maybe she wouldn't be doing stuff that young if she had been educated about it
LilyZombie 8
parents shouldn't hold back on teaching their preteens about this stuff out of fear that education means action, they should hope that educating them will protect them from making bad decisions. and at least if they do make the decision to be sexy ally active, they'll be smart enough to protect themselves from catching a bad pregnant or having a herpes. EDIT: really? I have to leave that mistake up because it validates how important education is. smh.
nataliewby 25
Take it to your advantage and allow her to freak out. Maybe her being sexually active will sort itself out
Geeve95 11
That 17 year old is good to have around. You should have used him when they were kids by making him convince his sister to eat her vegetables and do her homework in some way.
ksker101389 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
sex at 13?! maybe you should be a better parent and pay attention to what your kids are doing in the first place. also, you should have the peodophile that took your daughter's innocence locked up!!
weveallbeenthere 30
what makes you think it was an adult that took her innocence, it may have been a 13 year old boy or girl that did it, consensually.
Geeve95 11
Are you dumb? I would not judge the persons parenting. The generation of today's youth is filled with brats, ungrateful *****. It's not the parents it's the kids. If don't believe me just look on vine at all the kids under the age of 12 using profanity and other things that kids should not be doing.
annarcheer 19
uhm what if he's her age? i don't think that makes you a peodophile if he's her age. and just cuz her daughters having sex dosnt mean she's out there suggesting it. its called trust and I'm pretty sure she just lost it so u can stop being an idiot and go somewhere.
ohishkabibble 21
#23, you sound like such an old fart for only being 18, which is literally the age group of those "kids today" you're talking about. Do you KNOW how long people have been saying "Kids today are so disrespectful/spoiled/lazy/etc!!"? For way, waaay longer than you've been alive. People have been saying that shit for CENTURIES.
Geeve95 11
Yeah man I don't thing your helping.
Geeve95 11
OH REARRY!!?? Thanks for your input. It was much needed.
Geeve95 11
This comment was directed to #34
Geeve95 11
This comment was directed to #33
simplysarcastics 26
Why does everyone blame the parents, most people have more than one child and instill the same values as one as they do the others. Six kids can live in the same household and all come out different. Plus when I was thirteen I was watching cartoons, obsessing over my hair, and still being a kid. You can make good decisions or bad at any age and its always your choice.
Lil_Red777 21
@34 besides trying to be a special snowflake what is your point? Yes people have been saying it for centuries, doesn't make it any less true.
sturschaedel 27
Try millenia. Ancient greek and latin texts dating before and around BC talk about how the youth of the time has no morals and will burn to the ground every thing their ancestors built. I guess that's where Nero got his ideas.
Fou_Lou 20
@69 Actually it kinda does make it less true. People that rant about the bad bad youth kinda forget the fact that older people or even adults have said the same things when their generation was in their youth. I personally think that that sort of ranting is kinda bad because it disconnects you from the current young generation. They have other values and that is not bad unless its illegal. Rampant teen pregnancy is not a problem of younger people having sex but a lack of education. Kids should have learned the importance of protection and contraception as soon as theyre able to make/get kids. And teaching abstinence instead of how it is done and how you protect yourself from STDs and being pregnant is kinda contraproductive.
ElatedEarthling 15
Personally, I lost my virginity at 13 as well. Not due to my parents incompetence or my upbringing or rebellious side, just because I thought I was in love, foolishly. I regret the decision to lose it so early, however I'm not a terrible little brat or pregnant teen or ****. I'm 20 now and have a normal healthy sex life with my bf. Not everyone who has sex early ends up with a ****** up life.
weveallbeenthere 30
wow that's too young, should have had that talk a while ago. good for your son, that's funny.
sorryheadphones 26
Your son should be a politician or a lawyer
annarcheer 19
oh my gosh what the heck. at 13 I wasn't thinking about that stuff I was thinking about going out with friends and sleepovers. that's terrible I'm really sorry. u should keep playing along with the story.
pitapizzaparty 18
He should have did it earlier lol
mylifebitches666 18
You have done a bad parenting job if your 13 year old daughter is sexually active and you weren't aware of it. Time to man up.
fuggotmuggot 14
Shes need some beating.
limabeans101029 20
What a logical solution!