Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, despite spending literal years educating my son about safe sex and warning him not to do something stupid like get a girl pregnant at 16, he actually surpassed my expectations. He got her pregnant at 17. Plus she gave him a nasty STD. FML
Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML
Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Today, my 18 year-old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML
Today, I learned that my 18-year-old son has had more sexual partners together at one time than I've had separately in total in my life. FML
Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
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Top comments
Cortezthe1st 23
You should play along.
Trin_Tran 26
Well at least she won't be sexually active anymore ...
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Comments (83)
kha_428 6
Thats a major fail.
Bad_People_r_Bad 3
Nice rhyme!
veggieburito 3
Interesting
demonfacee 14
The 17-year-old was kind of misleading, but true in some situations. Buy your 13-year-old some birth control, because her sex life is kind of personal and none of your business.
switchgurl20 17
she is the parent. A 13 year old minor sex life will be my business as the parent.
MidnightMusic53 37
When she's a minor and living with her parents, it's not personal and this is her parents' business. 13 year olds should not be having sex, they should be playing and reading and not concerning themselves with serious relationships.
DaBlacky 31
#149 you don't know the 13-old, who are you to judge purely based on a number?
sugoine 12
I'm very sorry your child is doing adult activities-yikes!!! But I must say, this makes me feel better about my emergency hysterectomy and the fact I can't bear children. Sorry, OP. ?
I_see_your_anger 10
I'm just saying. If you find out she's also pregnant. Abortion can be a magical thing.
kevvleven11 5
Pregnancy can be a disease.
NostalgiaFreak9 41
At least you don't have to worry about her becoming a teen mom now.
CuriousYel1ow 13
Since when do 13 yr olds have sex? Since when do they not fully understand the birds and bees at that age?
limabeans101029 20
A lot of parents and schools are pretty slack when it comes to teaching kids about sex. Which is not how it should be at all.
Kittyphysics 21
way to watch your kid op. at least your sons there to pick up the slack.
limabeans101029 20
Yes because saying that sex before marriage will instantly result in "horrible diseases that will kill you" is a great idea! No, he wasn't "there to pick up the slack", he was being an idiot. OP should've been EDUCATING her daughter about sex, not using scare tactics.