Intimacy, Sex, Gross and Weird: The Scatman

The Scatman

By Mandy - 13/03/2022 10:00

Today, I accidentally sharted during sex with a guy I’ve been seeing. I was seriously embarrassed, but he was excited about “new territory we can explore together.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 309

You deserved it 242

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/11/2017 06:00

Today, in the middle of sex, I was desperate for a fart but tried to hold it in so we weren't forced to stop halfway. Unfortunately, I accidentally let the fart escape, along with runny diarrhea all over my husbands legs and groin. The smell caused him to vomit all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 516

You deserved it 2 816

It's a gas gas gas

By Anonymous - 12/05/2021 10:01 - United States - Schertz

Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 402

You deserved it 281

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 662

You deserved it 2 137

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 23/11/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, my hubby thought he made me queef during sex. I was too embarrassed ro tell him it was a fart I was holding in, but couldn’t once I orgsmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 158

By embarrassed girl - 07/06/2014 05:40 - United States - Saint Cloud

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. It was going well until I accidentally passed gas. To add to the embarrassment, he rated it. I only got a 4 out of 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 139

You deserved it 7 813

By Jenn - 24/09/2017 10:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I had my first astounding orgasm during which I simultaneously shit myself and vomited. So thankful my new partner was present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 311

You deserved it 636

First time?

By Anonymous - 31/07/2021 23:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my long-term boyfriend and I went on a romantic getaway. In the hotel we were having great sex, I was so close to… and then he farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 310

Rush of gas

By Fart queen - 05/12/2022 04:00

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heard to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 711

By FMLFMLFMLFML - 29/05/2009 17:52 - United States

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 190

You deserved it 14 880

By Anonymous - 01/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Greenville

Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 042

You deserved it 1 736

Madchick14 11

Sunday 13 March 2022 11:07

hey, either the guy is into weird shit, or he's really into you and is trying to take the embarrassment away.

WhataStrangeTripThisIs 23

Sunday 13 March 2022 18:58

I think that sounds great. I would still be horribly embarrassed, but he cares enough to soothe your feelings!

Comments

Madchick14 11

Sunday 13 March 2022 11:07

hey, either the guy is into weird shit, or he's really into you and is trying to take the embarrassment away.

Jaffster69 6

Sunday 13 March 2022 13:07

What a shitty situation

WhataStrangeTripThisIs 23

Sunday 13 March 2022 18:58

I think that sounds great. I would still be horribly embarrassed, but he cares enough to soothe your feelings!

HokieJ 10

Sunday 13 March 2022 23:08

The Cleveland Steamer territory!

SirEnigM0nk 22

Tuesday 15 March 2022 5:17

(In Cleveland voice) "That's nasty!"

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The Top

Today, I learned there is such a thing as "too much sex". After a full week of having sex at least twice a day with my girlfriend, I had to go to the GP due to a painful erection and swelling. The constant sex had caused me to burst a blood vessel in my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 632

You deserved it 2 906

Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and, about 30 seconds in, he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek, and leaves. It turns out that he'd already came. I called his phone - wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 099

You deserved it 20 907

The Top

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 513

You deserved it 4 671

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 117

You deserved it 62 433

Today, my supposed "best friend" started going out with the girl I'd just split up with, immediately after she said she wanted to see other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 91

Today, while I was helping my parents clean their house to my dad's playlist, the song "Mama Told Me (Not to Come)" started playing. My mom very casually said to my dad, "I did tell you, but you did anyway. Five times, in fact." Guess how many children my parents have, including myself? FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 228

Today, I know it’s pathetic to cry after sex, so you can imagine how pathetic I feel when I cry after masturbating, because cleaning my vibrator afterwards just reminds me how long it’s been since I had a man, and how lonely I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 331

You deserved it 1 539

Today, I yelled at my husband for staying out till after 9 and not having done any of the chores. He turned round and yelled right back at me for letting him sit alone at the restaurant, getting sympathy from the waiters, because I clearly forgot today was our anniversary dinner. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 4 033