Intimacy, Sex, Gross and Weird: The Scatman

The Scatman

By Mandy - 13/03/2022 10:00

Today, I accidentally sharted during sex with a guy I’ve been seeing. I was seriously embarrassed, but he was excited about “new territory we can explore together.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 254

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/11/2017 06:00

Today, in the middle of sex, I was desperate for a fart but tried to hold it in so we weren't forced to stop halfway. Unfortunately, I accidentally let the fart escape, along with runny diarrhea all over my husbands legs and groin. The smell caused him to vomit all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 529

You deserved it 2 830

It's a gas gas gas

By Anonymous - 12/05/2021 10:01 - United States - Schertz

Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 411

You deserved it 298

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 669

You deserved it 2 146

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 23/11/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, my hubby thought he made me queef during sex. I was too embarrassed ro tell him it was a fart I was holding in, but couldn’t once I orgsmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 170

By embarrassed girl - 07/06/2014 05:40 - United States - Saint Cloud

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. It was going well until I accidentally passed gas. To add to the embarrassment, he rated it. I only got a 4 out of 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 142

You deserved it 7 815

By Jenn - 24/09/2017 10:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I had my first astounding orgasm during which I simultaneously shit myself and vomited. So thankful my new partner was present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 321

You deserved it 645

First time?

By Anonymous - 31/07/2021 23:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my long-term boyfriend and I went on a romantic getaway. In the hotel we were having great sex, I was so close to… and then he farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 314

Rush of gas

By Fart queen - 05/12/2022 04:00

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heard to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 723

By FMLFMLFMLFML - 29/05/2009 17:52 - United States

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 206

You deserved it 14 887

By Anonymous - 01/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Greenville

Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 048

You deserved it 1 749

Madchick14 11

Sunday 13 March 2022 11:07

hey, either the guy is into weird shit, or he's really into you and is trying to take the embarrassment away.

WhataStrangeTripThisIs 23

Sunday 13 March 2022 18:58

I think that sounds great. I would still be horribly embarrassed, but he cares enough to soothe your feelings!

Comments

Madchick14 11

Sunday 13 March 2022 11:07

hey, either the guy is into weird shit, or he's really into you and is trying to take the embarrassment away.

Jaffster69 6

Sunday 13 March 2022 13:07

What a shitty situation

WhataStrangeTripThisIs 23

Sunday 13 March 2022 18:58

I think that sounds great. I would still be horribly embarrassed, but he cares enough to soothe your feelings!

HokieJ 10

Sunday 13 March 2022 23:08

The Cleveland Steamer territory!

SirEnigM0nk 22

Tuesday 15 March 2022 5:17

(In Cleveland voice) "That's nasty!"

Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Cute Haircut Miscellaneous Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Capitalism Frustration Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Mental health Technology

The Top

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 127

You deserved it 3 083

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

The Top

Today, I told my mom I wanted to see a doctor, because I feel like I’m slipping into depression. I told her I was so sad, I didn’t shower for 4 days. Her response? “I don’t believe that. You’ve always had great hygiene!” Duh, I’m not myself lately! Thanks for noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 153

Today, as a reward for finishing all my work in maths, I was told I could leave early. Apparently, later on, the class had a random attendance inspection. I didn't know about this until I received a detention for not being present at that class. My teacher had completely forgotten about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 933

You deserved it 2 732

Today, a doctor squeezed so much cheese out of a huge lump on my nutsack, for a second I was convinced he’d poked a hole in my bollock and was squeezing out my baby-making juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 428

Today, I had woken up very excited to celebrate my 21st birthday. I rolled over in bed and asked my boyfriend if we could go out to the park to have a picnic, considering the lovely weather. He looked up at me and said, "You wish I loved you that much." He rolled back over and slept until 3pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 705

You deserved it 9 334

Today, I drove a different work vehicle, one with the cupholder right behind the gear lever. After multiple accidental attempts at changing gears with my Coke bottle, I threw it out the window in a temper. I then got busted for littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 1 655

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 886

You deserved it 2 907