By Jenn - 24/09/2017 10:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I had my first astounding orgasm during which I simultaneously shit myself and vomited. So thankful my new partner was present. FML
I agree, your life sucks 5 233
You deserved it 603

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That must've been some GOOD sex 0_0

oh my goodness. as embarrassing as that was, i hope the guy isnt a douchefaggot and didn't get all freaked out about it. life happens. I would be mortified, but if he was understanding that would definitely help a lot.

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Sorry to hear that. Atleast it feels good to do all three things hope you enjoyed it a little. Hope you have better luck in the future

That must've been some GOOD sex 0_0

Was your partner an 80 pound black lab?

oh my goodness. as embarrassing as that was, i hope the guy isnt a douchefaggot and didn't get all freaked out about it. life happens. I would be mortified, but if he was understanding that would definitely help a lot.

Honestly, I wouldn't call him a docuhefaggot for freaking out, freaking out would be quite normal in that situation. Rather, he would be extraordinary if he didn't freak out.

If you freak out for getting shat upon and puked upon, that doesn’t make you a “douchefaggot” — it makes you normal. If that doesn’t freak you out, maybe you’re some kind of fetishist weirdo.

i meant in the sense of "okay I'm dumping you bc you're gross" not I'm okay with getting shit on. i would be freaked out in that sense, but i hope he likes her enough to not be so freaked out to leave her. sorry for that confusion.

I wouldn't call it unreasonable to be freaked out by someone simultaneously shitting and puking on themselves in a new relationship lol

as helpful as that is how freaked out would u be if somebody did that ad yoy fucked them

There’s no cumming back from that.

I’m just waiting for, “Today, I learned I’m so bad in bed that I cause my partner to vomit. And shit. Simultaneously. FML”

If the ultimate goal of sex with a woman was to make her shit and vomit, I’d quit that and switch to that jerking off while hanging yourself.

Find anything else to do with your time.

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And you probably wouldn't have the balls to fight him, since you so graciously responded to him.

Yes I would. If you told me in real life "I comment on every single FML, sometimes multiple times, for the majority of my free time" I would say the exact same thing.

I don't think so. Give me your home address and let's see. It doesn't even take a fraction of my free time to comment, and what is it your business anyways?

It is going to be okay pencil dick.

It is not until you apologize to me. (By the way, it is sooooo clever that you use my own self-effacing joke of a name against me -- that's sadly your best work here.) You can say what you want about my comment, but you may never tell me (or anyone else) to stop commenting.

Nah I have the right to say anything, you have the right to not listen to it. Obviously I'm not stopping you from commenting.

You're not stopping me, but I'm not sure how many people you've bullied into silence. If you'll spout off from behind the safety of your keyboard or glass screen and not say it to my face, you're just a fucking coward. I hope your other victims see this.

Grate show boys! sheepie is an anxt filled stink but its also a bit sad how you let his comment set you off like that. Ill pray for you two, Im a Christian. Praise Christ!

Are we really pulling the bully card? Just like you can comment, so can someone who doesn't like your comments. If you feel threatened or bullied, get off the internet and take a nap. You're not a victim, stop trying to become one.

Yes. It is unacceptable to try to drive someone off this site. I mean, my comment was so rife with opportunities to make jokes at my expense, why did he just stoop to telling me to leave? Why are you supporting him and attacking me? I know you don't like me, but why are you a fan of drumming people off FML? The site has suffered a lot from many good participants getting driven off.

Cry me a fucking river! You make the most ridiculous comments on here and when people dislike or comment back you go ballistic. You are acting like a child whining about being bullied on an app. Grow the fuck up.

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This is the most amusing unintentional thing I have ever done.

No. A dumbass is someone who is stupid enough to think everyone has to agree with their opinion and someone doesn't, the individual who makes the dumbass comment is getting bullied. Ding, ding. It's you Richie. ?

Still missing the point. You are hopeless, you doos.

This is hilarious

Glad you like it -- I'm here for entertainment.

Damn! You guys kept on going.

Sheepiebeepie and the rest of you, can you seriously not figure out he's continuing to troll you and doesn't actually care? I figured that out about 3 comments into the thread...

There was nothing unintentional about this, it's exactly what he wants. Stop feeding the trolls.

You couldn't tell I didn't care, and thought it was funny? There are two options, he's joking or insane. I prefer him to be insane, but its probably the former. It was definitely unintentional on my part... with the amount he comments I figured he would ignore it.

Lol he also messaged me. Told me I am paying for his travel expenses so I can say it to his face.

And I'm building a wall and you're going pay for that, too! #MRPGA

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Now I've seen everything.

How does something like this even happen?!?

By having an astounding orgasm, she just told you!

Ooh baby a triple!