Intimacy: Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed...

By FMLFMLFMLFML - 29/05/2009 17:52 - United States

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 206

You deserved it 14 887

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Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

The Scatman

By Mandy - 13/03/2022 10:00

Today, I accidentally sharted during sex with a guy I’ve been seeing. I was seriously embarrassed, but he was excited about “new territory we can explore together.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 254

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 669

You deserved it 2 146

By Dramaqueenfornothing - 27/04/2016 22:32 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 350

You deserved it 2 828

By fjafja - 07/03/2009 06:34 - Canada

Today, I was having a one night stand with a guy. He told me he wanted to do it doggie style, I said okay, and as soon as I bent over on the bed, looked at me and said, "Let's do this with the lights off". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 632

You deserved it 13 338

Pure animal magnetism

By Anonymous - 29/01/2015 21:17 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had a one-night stand. After holding in my farts all night, as you should, I decided enough was enough and tried to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out; instead I shat myself in her bed. I was naked at the time, so was unable to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 160

You deserved it 16 873

It's a gas gas gas

By Anonymous - 12/05/2021 10:01 - United States - Schertz

Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 411

You deserved it 298

By Bawo - 02/06/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 070

You deserved it 33 988

By Heather212 - 26/10/2017 07:26

Today, I sat down on my bed completely naked in front of my husband and said, "Man, it's hot in here!" while spreading my legs. He just blew on my vagina, asked if that was better, and then walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 365

You deserved it 1 407

The moment when…

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 108

You deserved it 74 047

Smooth talker

By pixie - 17/02/2009 08:10 - United States

Today, I had sex for the first time with a guy. After he passionately made love to me, I turned to him and said, "You smell really good." He turned to me and said, "You don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 851

You deserved it 13 790

Minorchord 4

Friday 29 May 2009 22:28

Perfectly normal, mature adult behavior. Nothing at all to be concerned about. Not whatsoever.

heavyop 0

Friday 29 May 2009 22:33

Wait, did he leave immediately after that without saying anything? Cause if he did, he sure knows how to make an exit.

Comments

Minorchord 4

Friday 29 May 2009 22:28

Perfectly normal, mature adult behavior. Nothing at all to be concerned about. Not whatsoever.

ryguy997 0

Monday 5 April 2010 23:31

251 LOL there's more than one way to get your hair off...

coper169 0

Sunday 21 August 2011 5:44

C-C-Combo Breaker!!!

coper169 0

Thursday 25 August 2011 22:17

C-C-Combo Breaker!!!

subiedude08 17

Wednesday 4 September 2013 5:35

Shut up

JJ_86 22

Wednesday 4 June 2014 0:57

Yup, very normal. Now I want to grow up and try it too!

SomeGuy1234 0

Friday 29 May 2009 22:29

Classy.

Fizaka 0

Sunday 23 May 2010 0:15

very classy

yuop77 0

Friday 4 June 2010 1:35

very very classy

turtles1321 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 7:42

very very very classy

mbeasley14 0

Monday 24 January 2011 9:35

very very very classy

palltaru 0

Friday 25 February 2011 23:30

very very very very classy

That1GuyUNo 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 11:35

very very very very very classy

substitutes 0

Saturday 5 November 2011 20:19

Very very very very very very very classy

uhhSavage 22

Tuesday 2 April 2013 6:12

Very very very very very very very very classy.

nateracecar5 6

Saturday 26 July 2014 18:25

Very very very very very very very very very very very classy.

anonymous100000 17

Wednesday 24 December 2014 6:32

that's what to expect when you open your legs for a random dude. js. YDI.

LiveLoveLife_fml 0

Friday 29 May 2009 22:29

Um......no comment? Freak muchhhhh?

nativebacon 0

Friday 29 May 2009 22:30

Uh.........

imlaughingatyou 0

Friday 29 May 2009 22:30

oh attractive.

Ravemaster7 0

Friday 29 May 2009 22:31

That's ******* hilarious. Hopefully it was a ONS, right, OP? lol

MrsSarcasm 3

Sunday 24 June 2012 9:17

I'm glad I'm not the only one who found this hilarious. If it was a boyfriend I would laugh hysterically but if it's a stranger and a ONS I would be mortified (but laugh hysterically just thinking about it later)