Love, Intimacy, Sex, Relatable, Awkward and Farts: First time?

First time?

By Anonymous - 31/07/2021 23:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my long-term boyfriend and I went on a romantic getaway. In the hotel we were having great sex, I was so close to… and then he farted. FML

agreeclassic 971

vote type 1 320

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Rico Suave

By eww - 12/06/2025 20:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML

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By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

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Fetish

By Anonymous - 25/07/2019 12:00

Today, my boyfriend and I finally had sex. The entire time he kept begging me to fart, especially on him. FML

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By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

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Gas wars

By Ali - 04/10/2020 23:02

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML

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By atleese - 31/12/2011 15:37 - United States

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

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Rush of gas

By Fart queen - 05/12/2022 04:00

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML

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A load of hot air

By SkipBeatOtaku - 16/05/2020 20:00

Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML

agreeclassic 1 744

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By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

agreeclassic 58 499

vote type 1 8 544

Class act

By LoveStruck- - 10/02/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML

agreeclassic 38 825

vote type 1 5 749

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Sunday 1 August 2021 1:17

Farts happen. Just laugh and go on with what you’re doing.

ahabsfan 15

Sunday 1 August 2021 1:35

Unless you were tossing his salad at the time I don’t see the problem here. It happens.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 1 August 2021 0:40

You should dump him immediately and find a man who doesn't fart! You deserve it! I'm sure such a creature exists.

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Sunday 1 August 2021 1:17

Farts happen. Just laugh and go on with what you’re doing.

ahabsfan 15

Sunday 1 August 2021 1:35

Unless you were tossing his salad at the time I don’t see the problem here. It happens.

DolaMike 5

Sunday 8 August 2021 14:48

my question is " did he stop when he farted? did you laugh?

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Today, I called a Lyft to go to work. I got dressed and even watched him finish his previous ride. We all know you have a 5 minutes window. It wasn’t even 5 minutes in when he cancelled my ride. Now I’m late for work. FML

agreeclassic 693

vote type 1 336

Today, I went in to hug my boss after a big project presentation, all because I misread his body language and thought he was opening his arms to me, but he was actually reaching for his jacket. I basically hugged his sleeve while he stared at me like I’d lost my mind. FML

agreeclassic 97

vote type 1 351

Today, on the first day of 2024, I, a healthy 32 year-old, woke up to find I not only pissed the bed, but also shat myself in my sleep. I have no idea what I ate to cause this, nor how I didn't wake up when it was happening. This new year is literally off to a shit start. FML

agreeclassic 593

vote type 1 156

Today, my best friend broke up with her partner. In retaliation, he got drunk and stole my car, then crashed it into a neighbour's house. Then after dealing with the police who didn't arrest him, he and my best friend made up and went to bed. FML

agreeclassic 2 635

vote type 1 202

Today, I took my new boyfriend's virginity about 10 minutes ago. He kept whispering, "It’s inside you, it’s actually inside you… feels kind of sticky, slippery, it’s actually inside you I can’t believe it.” It was super off-putting and a bit creepy. And no, I definitely did not orgasm. FML

agreeclassic 545

vote type 1 291

Today, while lying in bed, I was so lonely that I put a heavy blanket in front of me so it felt like I was spooning someone. FML

agreeclassic 1 657

vote type 1 250