yummy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Terminology
Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
London, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Nice outing
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
It was clean at least
🌶️ Spicy
Pushed it too far
Today, as we were getting ready for sex, I told my man to fuck my face, and it was great until he shoved my face in his ass, yelling, "Eat my ass! Eat it!" I had to explain that ass eating is not something I'm comfortable with. FML
Zibby
🌶️ Spicy
Life hacks
Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML
future brain bleach addict
Victoria, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML
Anonymous
Jacksonville, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Fake it til you make it
Today, I learned that I don’t need to fake my orgasms, even though I’ve never been given one. FML
Anonymous
Rockwall, United States 🌶️ Spicy
User notice
Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML
Anonymous
Gloucester, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
First time
Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML
Anonymous
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML
datingmrpicky
United States 🌶️ Spicy
How could you?
Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
esb
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
No kinkshaming, but come on…
Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML
Top comments
Fuzzygraywolf 0
a wee bit behind on the learning curve are we? lol
Lexiesoccerchick 0
wooow, you fail.
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Comments (450)
farfulz 6
oh my... :s
coolcakes 0
EPIC FAIL.
PSQ91 6
Just gotta know how it's done, not how it's called.
ipwnlosers 4
I like the way you think.
johnnie254 7
I'm with you there bro
7dsytheory 3
where have u been?
immunizations 0
use protection, cause you sure don't wanna pass your intelligence down to your future child.
abceasyas123abc 12
Just because they didn't understand the euphemism doesn't mean they aren't intelligent! They just hadn't been corrupted yet!
daminantion 14
16, for putting someone down based on their IQ, your wording is rather distasteful. "don't wanna pass down your intelligence.." Contradicting, when analyzed from an 'intelligent' point of view. P.S. use protection, wouldn't want your lack of intelligence passing down to the future generation.
rainergeis 0
You remind me of Sheldon.
Pugs_not_drugs 9
"Physics makes me so happy, it's like looking at the universe naked" -sheldon cooper. LOL
7mood75 7
You learn something new everyday.
MuffyStJacques 0
Future child? I think there would not be a child with protection.
m0rgana 0
you that dumb #52?
jackchaskell 0
his idea of protection might be a medieval knights full set of armor.
Ellyl 6
How old are you ?
IscoreOnU 19
Age is irrelevant. You can always learn something new
CateXOX 0
70- Yeah, except that the lack of that knowledge is understandable for a 10 year old, but ridiculous for a 20 year old.
Mitcha857 0
of course it doesn't involve food! What, did you think it was canibalism?
danza_fml 0
Exciting.
NomNomMuffin 5
I'd like to see how that would turn out asking someone on a date.