Terminology
Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML
Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, as we were getting ready for sex, I told my man to fuck my face, and it was great until he shoved my face in his ass, yelling, "Eat my ass! Eat it!" I had to explain that ass eating is not something I'm comfortable with. FML
Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML
Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML
Today, I learned that I don’t need to fake my orgasms, even though I’ve never been given one. FML
Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML
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Top comments
Fuzzygraywolf 0
a wee bit behind on the learning curve are we? lol
Lexiesoccerchick 0
wooow, you fail.
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Comments (450)
cwmbear 0
It DOES involve food if you're talking about your grandma...
jayemdoubleyou 1
...unless you're into that.
abasio 1
This is only an FML if you're not a kid. How did you find out by the way? Did you omit a preposition an say you ate out your mother?
whitegirl17 0
wow where have you been
ihatepeople11 0
Lol. i hope you learned that blowing someone doesn't include whistles, balloons, or blowing kisses either.
Yohan61576 0
wow dude! how old are u! lol
superguppy19 3
face palm
0215mike 2
it doesnt what a shocker
mhorger 0
I think I knew that when I was 10.
foxktm90 0
wait till you try the cream pie
steelersfan3250 0
LMFAO thats the best part on the meal