Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend by sending her an Edible Arrangement. When she called to tell me she had gotten it, she was more excited about the cute boy who'd delivered it than she was about the fruit bouquet. FML
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend wrote me poetry. Here's how it went: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poetry, show me your tits." That's the most romantic thing he's done for me. FML
Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML
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Top comments
360XBOXFTW 0
How sweet of him :)
toelie 26
So, does it?
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Comments (225)
DjeePee 25
Well OP, it's your boyfriend. You choose him, didn't you? And if you want him to be more romantic, it might help if you just ask him to do so.
VeganVampyre 27
... You can't just ask a guy to be romantic. I mean, you can, but even if he listens, it's not really romantic anymore, is it? It's just him doing you a favour, basically.
sourgirl101 29
I think it can still be romantic to have someone do you a favor. It's all in the wording ex: "I really like it when you......." Some guys are not mind readers and don't know what's important. Over time and seeing the positive outcome may inspire him to start doing it on his own. (: It's all about communication.
DjeePee 25
True true, but it's all like Sourgirl said. Your partner can't read your mind, therefore, communication is the keyword (even if that means you have to talk about unpleasant, very intimate, unromantic... things). I have said to my partner that I would find it very romantic (aka: would be immediately in the mood) if we once went to a nice restaurant and came back to a bedroom filled with rose pedals, candle light and romantic music. It still didn't happen yet, but I hope he will remember that conversation for a special occasion.
neuf77 1
hahaha such a douche bag...
melsa777 0
Yip, sperm is like fine wine - if 'cultivated' and nurtured properly, the taste can change drastically. Pineapple, strawberries and parsley make it sweeter.
melsa777 0
Yip, sperm is like fine wine - if 'cultivated' and nurtured properly, the taste can change drastically. Pineapple, strawberries and parsley make it sweeter.
sherryl_fml 0
Hahahaha awww how cute I wish by bf would do stuff like that for me?
sakforduc 0
why put a question mark when your not asking a question? lol
VeganVampyre 27
She's not actually sure if she wants her boyfriend to do that?
KiddNYC1O 22
Why put your when it's you're/you are?
Masked00 4
I don't understand how this is a FML. Its a win win situation for both of you since he gets his BJ and you get to fill up your sweet tooth ;)
Holy_ish 19
lol smart guy
Cinn_fml 23
If this being the most romantic thing he's ever done for you is a problem, why don't you talk to him about it? But hey, at least he's thinking of you.
poorjudgement 26
And this is a FML exactly why?
bigjohn106 5
And the protein makes your hair and nails grow! No FML here....