Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend by sending her an Edible Arrangement. When she called to tell me she had gotten it, she was more excited about the cute boy who'd delivered it than she was about the fruit bouquet. FML
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend wrote me poetry. Here's how it went: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poetry, show me your tits." That's the most romantic thing he's done for me. FML
Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML
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Top comments
360XBOXFTW 0
How sweet of him :)
toelie 26
So, does it?
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Comments (225)
Kueezy 6
Tell him that he forgot to take off the "plastic bag"!
lerouxmaster 7
What ? A condom ?
SolemnlyLove 7
the most romantic thing your bf ever did was make his sperm tastier for you, you put up with a retard so ydi
cupcakesnpot 9
I'm just going to assume that you swallow (; lol
clownman 0
And what's the most romantic thing YOU'VE done for him?
Arnv 5
No, no, no, you don't understand, if a women would dare to stop whining and actually do something like that themselves, then how are they going to continue to be shitty hypocrites?
elmogoezRAWR 0
In the middle of a *******, scream charge, punch him in the face, and steal his purse. For bonus points, return the purse filled with fruit:
hzlzkgzkgzchxuxh 3
Well enjoy
OneChaiN 3
At least it encourages him to eat heathy.
HarveyMalone 0
A CAN of fruit?!
kenzleshaah 0
hahaa thats great..(: thats like sayin if your drink alot of water youll cum more ?
KiddNYC1O 22
You'll pee more...
Cjob 3
"I don't always drink sperm, but when I do, it tastes like berries.."