Today, I found out that what I thought was my brother gasping and groaning in his dreams most nights is actually him jacking off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML
Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML
Today, I woke up after a really intense wet dream. Problem is, I'd fallen asleep in the living room. My little brother saw the whole thing. Now he's going around telling family I need to get some. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML
Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, my friend spent the night. I now know that she masturbates in her sleep. FML
Today, I came home early from work and found my brother in my bed with a girl I've never met. Apparently he's been using my house to hook up with girls while I'm gone. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I realized that my brother is one of those people who comment on porn. I found out about it because he commented on my video. FML
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Top comments
AyeJay101 25
And I thought it was gonna end like he was having sex with someone... But that's some intense jerking.
Ecudaniel 16
wonder how you found out...
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Comments (79)
Drnknmonkey08 12
Ugh, that's just wrong on so many different levels. if he does it again tell him to take it to the bathroom.
lolhailsatan 23
how would going into the bathroom even help lmao still gonna be loudy jerkin it, just in a different room
Drnknmonkey08 12
if he can hear him "breathe and gasp in his sleep" he must be in the same room. so yes, taking it to the bathroom you know what he is doing but much better than having to hear it!!!
CoopsShea 11
What a jerk! No? Ok I'll show myself the door
BrutalEater 15
Yes.... Please do
ColonelCusswords 24
Naw stay a while, i love me some puns
ohSNAPyall 27
I don't mind a bad pun, but this "no? I'll show myself to the door" trend is awful.
Stillo 25
Sometimes I'm pretty happy that I'm a single child... FYL op :-/
SauceySarah 30
Why is he so loud that you can hear him every night? You should leave an anonymous letter telling him to quiet down so you don't have to go through the awkwardness of telling him in person.
ColonelCusswords 24
That would only be slightly better
FlyingMoonLady 11
That just sounds so awkward. Sorry OP!
tranced_ 45
like gasping and groaning was any less disgusting? what do you think he did?
ColonelCusswords 24
Probably watching a crap horror movie like the ******* wicker man
clairesucks 37
He could be having nightmares or he could be choking in his sleep or something
dilara_xo 12
If I saw that I could never close my eyes again...
ColonelCusswords 24
Damn if hes loud about it, he must be having a real good ******* time
91hayek 31
Tell him to STFU and stop; if you have to share a room with him you don't have to put up with that.
SadSouthernBell 18
I'm not sure which is worse, if he's in the same room or the fact he's so loud you can hear him down the hall... Talk to him but don't humiliate. Say "you were having a terrible nightmare last night".