Today, I noticed my house smells a lot like my grandma's. Not because we use the same cleaning products or anything like that, but because I'm slowly turning into a crazy cat lady. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML
Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML
Today, I cleaned my entire apartment hoping to find the source of the terrible odor I've been smelling for the past week. It's me. FML
Today, my grandma told me she likes to clean the house naked every day. I'm staying there all next week. FML
Today, I found out that before my grandma washes my clothes, she smells my underwear to "make sure they're dirty." FML
Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML
Today, I came home from a two-week vacation. When I walked into my house, I found cat poop everywhere. It took me several hours to clean it all up, and the house still smells terrible. The worst part is that I've never owned a cat in my life. FML
Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML
Today, I think I was just nominated as a crazy old cat lady. I was sitting in my garden when a stray methodically came back and forth, leaving her three kittens in one of my flowerbeds two feet from me, and now she hasn’t been back all day. I guess I own cats now. Three of them. FML
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Top comments
metalmusic 0
Acceptance is the first step. Febreze is the second.
coolcat33 0
mmm the sweet smell of cat butthole.. it makes me wanna go eat a tuna fish sandwich
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Comments (47)
Goople 0
Make sure to feed mr.tinkles regularly and dont forget about missy, poofy, mittens, kitty,........ Oh and ofcourse how could i forget gary? is that it? oh wait there is still 314 more...
null_fml 11
Gary? That's a hilarious name for a cat! Gary is a person's name! A person's... name!
iamghostbad 0
rotfl omg you just made my day/ night!!! xD
Norwegian_Wood 4
Okay, I'm going through reading comments, and I see Gary. Bahaha. One of my cats used to be named Gary. And I volunteer at an animal shelter, and there's a cat there named Gary as well. LMAO. OP, like a lot of other people said, Fabreeze, shower, clean, and I have to add, GO OUT AND MEET PEOPLE. hahaha.
iSwag 0
lmao! 14 you're my ******* hero
PurpleSprite 7
#14 Have you not watched SpongeBob???
VeryNice329 0
if you're catching on to this now, stop while you're ahead. get a boyfriend/girlfriend...
BritishHobo 0
I think she has one...
Goople 0
gary is spongebobs snail/mutated cat's name
babybubz 0
at least you have cats to have a reason why it smells.. I once went to a friend of a friends house and it REEKED of dirty kitty litter ...she didn't own any pets sounds like you definitely need to air out your place though.. get some air fresheners.. add some baking soda to the litter box(es) ..and clean them on a DAILY basis.
SuiGeneris01 2
ha you're crazy!!!!!!!
containsnosoy 0
Good thing we don't shape our future or anything. Then you'd have to realize that you're responsible for what you're becoming. (*gasp* the horror)
goldenone 2
I've said it once and I'll say it again. cats are selfish, useless pets. get a dog
containsnosoy 0
Eh, you can stereotype anything. Doesn't mean it's true.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Dogs stink WAY more than a cat. And if you mean they're useful because they can warn you of intruders or help fend them off, not all dogs can. Some cats can, btw. And cats give you quality companionship too. So really, unless you're the type who needs to run to the park and throws frisbees all the time, I don't see why you'd think a dog would be useful for anything more than a cat. At least cats piss and shit where you want them to most of the time. Dogs? Hardly ever.
CallMeHush 1
^LMAO
saranottelling 7
Not true #42. My dog was beat as a puppy so he has a hard time loving anyone. He can only stand 3 people and he only loves two, me and my dad (sometimes). All of my dogs have been like that because they are all shelter dogs that have a hard time around people because of abuse or neglect. All of them have only liked a small circle of people. Are some dogs actually idiots like that? I can't imagine...
null_fml 11
Most dogs are naturally like Tarynkd described, and will seek attention from anyone. But you're mostly right about the abused/neglected dogs. I've had multiple shelter dogs, myself, and they tended to be either really scared/reclusive or attention-starved. I have one of each right now, and the former took over a year to warm up to me. Seems like the younger you save them from their abuse, the more well-adjusted they become later. (Actually, my current "attention-starved" dog is mostly normal, but if she barks at the door we have to let her in as quickly as possible or she will start to panic).
Norwegian_Wood 4
I'd like to add that some shelter cats, will love attention from anyone. They may not trust just anyone, but a lot of those cats will just climb into anyone's lap who comes in and sits down. Of course, that's not all, because there are some (I can think of one in particular) who are so terrified of anything, any sudden movement scares them, and any noise scares them...and its hard to give them attention because of it. But rewarding when you can.
iSwag 0
I agree with 29 cats are useless seriously...and for those who say cats piss and shit where you want and dogs don't are retarded. there are many different breeds of dogs and they can all be trained. and seriously? "you have to work for a cats love so it's more rewarding"? why the **** would you work for a cats love? they should be grateful to be taken in and fed and given shelter. dogs understand this and they know that they could very well be outside fending for themselves because the instinct is already there. they are much more appreciative than cats. I've had two cats and all they ever did was kill roaches and my Rottweiler does that...and lot of dogs bark at people they don't know so shut that shit up my german shepard woke my dad up at 3am because he had to go to the bathroom. walked to his room, pulled on his shirt until he woke up, and then went to the back door and scratched at it. so if you can't control your dog it's because he doesnt respect you or even look at you as an authority figure and thinks he's the boss or "pack leader" so to speak. it's just like kids really. you don't have to be a douche but you need to show'em who runs shit because if you don't your kids will be telling YOU what to do dogs alert, watch, protect, guard, hunt, sniff out drugs, sniff out bombs, find missing people, save police officer's lives, and help blind people find mobility despite their handicap. when have you ever seen a cat leading a blind person across the street?! GTFOH! I don't really have anything against cats but to say they are better than dogs is a grotesque statement that won't go undetested as long as I'm here
Sirin_fml 47
Pendatic, that's exactly what she said; re-read her comment, you're going blind!
iamghostbad 0
woah it got fixed or something o.0 it said "you house" a lil bit ago!
CallMeHush 1
You have to give him a break Sirin, if he still has his Master Thespian disguise on it can be a little hard to see.