Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML
Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacy when we're at their place. I suggested that we go to my place for a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see what we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend if maybe she wanted to actually leave the house for date night. All I got was, “Why? We have takeaway menus.” When I insisted we leave the house for once, she got suspicious, like I was trying to hide something bad. She’s not talking to me until I admit what I did. FML
Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen and found a friend of my sister's stripped down to just her panties changing her clothes. In the kitchen. She had the nerve to call me a peeping Tom and slap me. Why was she even here without my sister, and why couldn’t she use the bathroom to change? FML
Today, I was really excited to go on a date with my girlfriend. We were sat in the restaurant looking at our menus when she suddenly frowned and said someone was watching us from across the street. I turned to see who it was. My wife. FML
Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML
Today, a woman threatened to stab my eyes out because I wouldn't let her into the shop I closed and locked up half an hour ago. FML
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Top comments
hotforkegger 4
HOARDER!!! RUN WHILE U CAN!!!
Finnick_fml 12
That's utterly bizarre. Maybe they're playing a prank on you, you can seriously ask them to tell you the truth .... Or break into your girlfriend's house. Take your pick :p
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Comments (295)
angelinaanimerg 7
Maybe she has some family problems or something. Its none of your business. Just make her feel comfortable about it
Sw33ttp13 1
Thou needst new company.
Attica 20
It's probably just really messy, and she's embarrassed of it. It doesn't mean she's a hoarder, like someone else has suggested--she could just be disorganized and have a problem with clutter. You won't know until you see it; but unless she's creepy in general, or in other areas not related to that one particular thing, it's probably not anything really bad. Although, you seeing her messy house might seem like big deal to her, if she's worried about what you think of it/her.
GeorgeBurkett123 2
Break in while shes at work and look around!!
abbynoelle 1
This is hilarious! Thanks for making my day!!
cab1n 0
Thou's girl friend is amazing!
Inediblepeaches 15
She wouldn't want you to stumble upon her cupcakes cellar. Your number hasn't come up yet. (Cupcakes reference btw :3)
Snackycake 20
What sort of magical fuckery is going on in that house....
zainrock 2
"fuckery" lol haven't heard that in a while
Snackycake 20
I've always wanted to use it...
Attica 20
I also agree with what #99 (angelinaanimerg) said about family problems...it could be that she finds her family embarrassing, and it's the way they act, or keep the house, or something of that nature, that is the issue. Maybe they fight a lot, or have habits that many people would consider strange. Maybe she doesn't have a problem herself, but has an eccentric family. It happens. She might be concerned about your opinion of her or them if you meet them/see the house, and doesn't want your opinion of her to change. It could be any number of reasons, and this is all just speculation, but you should consider different possibilities before making your next move.
schubur 3
This sounds like the beginning to a horror film.