Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML
Today, I was starting to get freaky with my boyfriend when his dad came in with no warning to let the dog into my boyfriend's bedroom. His dad noticed what was going on and covered the dog's eyes instead of just leaving. FML
Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML
Today, my dad somehow found some pictures of my boyfriend having sex with some girl and went on a rampage about how pissed he was that he was cheating on me. I had to explain to my parents that I was the girl in the pictures. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, I set up a camera in my kitchen to see who was stealing my cookies. Turns out my mom had her boyfriend over. Good news, the cookies are safe. Bad news, I now have something recorded that I never wanted to see in my life. FML
Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
katburton13 2
Oh dear. That sucks
marinus_fml 20
I think I saw these on redtube.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (334)
lexisdakotaa 5
Bahaha that's a good one. If I were you I would've said "If you didn't like that just think of what we do in my room" or something along those lines. His reaction would be pretty funny.
HumanWiki 8
If you're under 18, your asshole father just created kiddie ****.
Friaza 29
Why does everything a female does wrong have to turn into "The man must be a pedophile" situation...
beebeeL 1
YDI ! You es stupid
Jack1941 0
Says the fat ugly chick...
wt14 12
Why the driveway??
rifletwirler92 15
. . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . ,.-‘”. . . . . . . . . .``~., . . . . . . . .. . . . . .,.-”. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .“-., . . . . .. . . . . . ..,/. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ”:, . . . . . . . .. .,?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ., . . . . . . . . . /. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,} . . . . . . . . ./. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,:`^`.} . . . . . . . ./. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,:”. . . ./ . . . . . . .?. . . __. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . :`. . . ./ . . . . . . . /__.(. . .“~-,_. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,:`. . . .. ./ . . . . . . /(_. . ”~,_. . . ..“~,_. . . . . . . . . .,:`. . . . _/ . . . .. .{.._$;_. . .”=,_. . . .“-,_. . . ,.-~-,}, .~”; /. .. .} . . .. . .((. . .*~_. . . .”=-._. . .“;,,./`. . /” . . . ./. .. ../ . . . .. . .`~,. . ..“~.,. . . . . . . . . ..`. . .}. . . . . . ../ . . . . . .(. ..`=-,,. . . .`. . . . . . . . . . . ..(. . . ;_,,-” . . . . . ../.`~,. . ..`-.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ... . / . . . . . . `~.*-,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..|,./.....,__ ,,_. . . . . }.>-._. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .|. . . . . . ..`=~-, . .. `=~-,__. . . `,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .`=~-,,.,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . `:,, . . . . . . . . . . . . . `. . . . . . ..__ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .`=-,. . . . . . . . . .,%`>--==`` . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _. . . . . ._,-%. . . ..` I'm gonna go with the You Deserved It. What kind of idiot gives someone head in the DRIVEWAY?
carolineoliviaa 0
who gives there boyfriend head in the driveway? dirty much!
perdix 31
It doesn't say one way or the other in the story, but this would be so much hotter if there were not a car or truck involved.
nachtfee 9
Congrats. You preformed a sexual act on the side of the road and got caught. Today, I did a stupid thing. It had consequences. FML. YDI.
WTFitsBob 4
Oh deer, that sucks...