Denial

By innocent - 06/01/2015 03:11 - United States

Spicy
Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 348
You deserved it 3 362

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Well being 22 implies that she has no right to tell you what to do.

Comments

Wow op, at least she trusts her husband.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Calling out the FML community like that is just asking for it though..

iOceanus 18

41: How long have you been on the Internet? You should know that you're gonna get crap for voicing your opinion, no matter what.

I've been on the internet since I was 10, so 8 years. I'm aware of what the internet is full of. If anyone goes against what you say it's WW3

I agree, I've been on this site for years and I've noticed there are a LOT of people with no lives who troll around down voting anything and everything.

You want a reason for down voting? It's because the mother having trust in her husband is such a menial thing in the vast disappointment of this girls father cheating. I down voted you for making it seem positive.

I only read the buried comments anyway. Mmm forbidden fruit :)

what if it wasnt the husband, maybe it was her and as a way to cover her tracks she blamed her daughter. all is possible especially if she's so insistant it was OP.

Why not try to look at the positive things in life instead of dwelling on the bad parts?

You people are negative. I suggested looking at the good things in life to make situations better, but you down vote it. This'll be down voted too since you're all wonderful people who don't understand positivity. Oh well.

True buts it's a lot worse on this site than others. People seem incapable of taking a joke in certain posts. Bring on the down votes!

Why do you care if you get down voted?You voiced your opinion that is all that matters. You getting all upset about getting down voted just makes people want to keep doing it.

That sucks. Maybe get a DNA test on it but that might be extreme but u should try and tell your mom. And If she doesn't believe you oh well cuz you're an adult

I feel like the reason her mom is being so hard on her is that she knows if the condom doesn't belong to her daughter and boyfriend, it's her husband. Denial.

tantanpanda 26

If OP lives with her boyfriend in their own apartment, I'd tell the mother "fine, when you find out, it isn't my fault". One parent is cheating and the other parent turns the blind eye.

Or maybe it's the mother having the affair and she's trying to pass the buck.

No dummy, she said she doesn't live with them

She said 'we're both 22 and live together in our own apartment'

I believe #3 is inferring that the mother has no control over Op's life and that Op doesn't need to listen to her and can do anything she wants therefore "living her own life". He wasn't referring to the fact she lives in a seperate apartment.

I doubt OP ever considered not seeing him. I think the FML is just how ridiculous her mum is for trying to say she couldn't see him any more and what a dishonest douche her dad is being.

Well being 22 implies that she has no right to tell you what to do.

Your parents will never stop being your parents, even when they don't have to (or shouldn't) anymore. You'd be wise to learn that

They will but at some point they'll have an advisory role in your life no longer dictating your every move. At the age of 22 its probable that they should no longer intervene directly.

My parents will always be my parents, yeah, but I no longer need to go to my room or go on timeout when I do bad shit around them. Why? I'm an adult.

tell that to my dad.. he says no daughter of his will move in with a guy who isn't her brother unless we're married.

#70, and what is he going to do? Get mad, throw a hissy fit? Just because he says it, doesn't mean he has a choice. It sounds like OP is living her own life, her mother just doesn't appear to have accepted that fact.

Even assuming you're 100% financially independent (which, let's face it, in our time isn't a given) there's still the fact that this is your family and you care what they think. Call it "internalizing the oppression", but you're going to feel "wrong" about crossing your parents well into your 20s. Or it might just be me.

It's just you, 112. I will listen to what my parents say, but all in all, it's my decision. as an adult, I make my own choices. half of my family disowned me for being atheist. Didn't change who I was.

It's not just you, 112. I agree. While I'm an adult and technically can do what I want, I really value my family's approval and I hate tension being created within my family. If you care about maintaining a good relationship with your parents/family, it's going to be hard when they don't approve of something. Not saying that always means you shouldn't do it, but it's definitely something I take into consider even at 20 years old.

Wow, being in your position sucks. Do you take the blame and make her think that you used her bed for sex, or do you rat out your dad and potentially destroy their marriage? Good luck, OP!

Taking the blame shouldn't be an option. His mum has the right to know the truth.

hmm, end an untrue marriage or keep it a secret and let the woman who raised me and birthed me stay married to a sleezy asshole? I wonder what should be done?

#7 If the marriage fails over this it will be the dad's fault, not OP's for not taking the blame. What ****** up guilt-tripping to suggest otherwise. Wait, are you OP's dad?

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
Eyalsh 32

what?? if i understood correctly, here's my reply: live and let live.

Why do people think just because one is not married, it's giving themselves away? After all, OP and their boyfriend are 22 and live together, they have most likely been together for a while. Needless to say, it's not he main issue. A husband is cheating on his wife who is in denial and you worry about a young couple not being married yet?

It says no-where that OP and her boyfriend are sexually active

92 gets it. And, not sexually active? Come on.

#117 One of my very close friends recently got married and she lived with her then fiancé for almost two years and they didn't have sex until they got married. It was important to then that they knew that they would work well living together before they got married and they both didn't believe in sex before marriage. Living together doesn't automatically mean having sex. Uncommon, but not impossible.

Try sitting down with her and really emphasizing. "Momma, I can't imagine how this feels, but you must know the truth. That is not mine. But, I am here for you and love you!"

juturnaamo 29

Maybe he just doesn't want to fess up to masturbating. Some guys will jerk off with a condom for easy clean up.

if that were the case, I think fessing up that he masturbated would be a helluva lot better than letting her think he cheated...

Who the hell does that??? Thats an expensive ass way to jerk off!

Just save yourself 10 bucks on a 12 pack of condoms and grab a tissue haha

1 word: socks. Just as easy to clean up and you can wash and reuse. Never known of a guy to use condoms to **********

just don't flush the socks down the toilet, haha. they actually "featured" the whole condom ********** deal in that movie "I love you man." Jason Segel said he used them to de-sensitize himself. but yea. . .tad pricey