Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML
Today, I was starting to get freaky with my boyfriend when his dad came in with no warning to let the dog into my boyfriend's bedroom. His dad noticed what was going on and covered the dog's eyes instead of just leaving. FML
Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML
Today, my dad somehow found some pictures of my boyfriend having sex with some girl and went on a rampage about how pissed he was that he was cheating on me. I had to explain to my parents that I was the girl in the pictures. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, I set up a camera in my kitchen to see who was stealing my cookies. Turns out my mom had her boyfriend over. Good news, the cookies are safe. Bad news, I now have something recorded that I never wanted to see in my life. FML
Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML
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Top comments
katburton13 2
Oh dear. That sucks
marinus_fml 20
I think I saw these on redtube.
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Comments (334)
BbqKirbyAnn 0
Isn't that what parks were made for? Being spied on while doing dirty deeds
NateOBreezy 0
ydi for being a fucken ****
jmad29 2
Well then don't be a hoe and find someplace more private
debbielushious 6
you're a classy one.
Cinn_fml 23
da_cookie_monsta - Words might not, but a fist just might. That's coming from someone who doesn't particularly like violence. But seriously, I'm not holding the 'gross' bit against her - that's her own opinion - but the 'you don't know what you're talking about' bit really annoyed me.
Sabraynay 10
Get a room, sheese.
LaUruguaya 11
If you are young enough to be living with mommy and daddy, you are too young to be doing anything sexual. Duh.
ohmandapants 17
Especially when SHE clearly doesn't know what she's taking about. I can't believe how ******* IGNORANT this bitch is. And you know you can have your own opinion, but you don't always have to state your opinion especially when it's ******* inappropriate and offends A LOT of people.
disney_blonde 16
Why would you do that in the driveway of your parents house?! Even if there wasn't a camera, your parents could have heard a noise and peered out the window.
khicks 1
So, you've got an opening for q new boyfriend now?