Cars and Transportation: Shit, dude - FML

Shit, dude

By Johnny on the Spot - 12/02/2009 17:19 - United States

Today, campus security called to inform me that my car had been in an accident. I rushed down to the security office to find most of the officers laughing. A portable john blew over on to my car and smashed my rear window. Now, security calls me "Port-A-Potty Guy," and my car smells like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 401

You deserved it 2 307

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/11/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, while I was driving out of the student parking lot I saw people laughing. Then the old security lady yelled for me to stop. She told me my books were on the top of my car but one had already fallen off. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw all of my school papers flying everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 016

You deserved it 31 296

By Anonymous - 28/09/2011 15:53 - United States

Today, campus security called me to let me know a lawnmower crashed into my car. Apparently the guy mowing the lawn lost control. My car wasn't parked by any grass. I need a new bumper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 845

You deserved it 2 181

Pranked

By dontevenassk - 12/06/2009 04:44 - Canada

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to scare me by tilting the portable street toilets while I was taking a dump in one of them. One of my friends accidentally rocked it too hard and it fell on the floor. They wouldn't even let me sit in the car after because I had shit all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 140

You deserved it 3 777

By Anonymous - 12/10/2018 14:00

Today, I was at the park and needed to take a piss really badly. I opened my car door and stood to pee, but good old Mother Nature ran by and the wind blew it all into my car. My entire driver side smells like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 3 837

By unfortunatelyunlucky - 12/12/2010 07:17 - United States

Today, while parked at school, someone broke into my car by smashing the window. I called the police and they informed me I could drive it to the local station as it was an easy 2 minute drive. As I was driving there, I got pulled over for driving with a smashed window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 077

You deserved it 2 597

By eyeleanify - 10/12/2010 08:12 - United States

Today, I hit a car while trying to park. Assuming that no one saw, I moved my car and parked somewhere else. Hours later I get a call from the university police. While backing up to go to the police station I hit another car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 745

You deserved it 55 982

Trashed

By rainey - 03/02/2010 06:27 - United States

Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 407

You deserved it 2 584

By whatthewoah - 02/09/2010 18:10 - United States

Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 127

You deserved it 2 230

By mississpissi - 14/07/2015 12:00 - United Kingdom - Slough

Today, the waste disposal truck managed to tip over a portapotty on our work site, causing the contents to overflow and run down the bank towards my portakabin office, where someone had left the door open. All my money, ID and my car keys are now shut off to me by a river of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 036

You deserved it 1 949

No exit! No choice!

By Anonymous - 13/11/2019 03:00

Today, I drove my car and suddenly I got diarrhea & shit my pants. I put a plastic bag under me to not let all the shit go through my pants and get to my seat. Then, one of my work mates saw my car and came to say hello, she saw all the shit and the plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 234

You deserved it 301

Next

Top comments

Tomaino 3

Friday 11 December 2009 2:59

You could have been the guy IN the Porta-Potty.

badonis 0

Friday 13 February 2009 0:47

wow, how shitty is that?

Comments

sugarbabyxoxo 2

Thursday 18 February 2010 3:31

I actually LOL'd at this one!! Ahahahaha that's friggin great!

quin01 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 3:20

ur cars a shitbox

luffbox 3

Friday 10 February 2012 17:11

Oh my gosh, that is gross. How the heck does a portable John blow over? You must have very high wind on your campus.

koreyketchum 1

Friday 30 March 2012 17:26

That's why you don't park next to them... Dumbass.

dimplesimone 8

Monday 20 August 2012 7:54

Damn, might as well just buy a whole new car, FYL indeed.

lina_bean 5

Thursday 4 July 2013 3:20

That has too suck!! Eww!! Trade that bitch in!! Lol

Turkeythug123 6

Monday 26 May 2014 22:53

Blue poo!

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Today, I learned my dad is the kindest, most generous, hard-working soul anyone has ever met. He'll give someone the shirt off his back if they need help. Except for us, his immediate family, whom he screams and cusses at daily, expects to do everything ourselves, and thinks we're incompetent when we need help. FML

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Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 098

You deserved it 10 190

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I agree, your life sucks 50 218

You deserved it 4 772

Today, I went out to eat. When I walked into the restaurant, a lady approached me and said she'd seat me soon. After a long wait, I saw that same lady leave. Then I realized she didn't actually work there and was just screwing with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 847

You deserved it 3 546

Today, while I was shopping at a store with my friend, I noticed a cute girl smiling at us. My friend said, "She's all yours," and walked away. When I approached her, she asked me if my friend was single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 276

You deserved it 2 063

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I agree, your life sucks 14 607

You deserved it 46 646

Today, my mother brought home dinner for 4 people. I was not one of those people. The dog, however, was. FML

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You deserved it 145