Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
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Top comments
haw008 14
Your "rep" won't matter when you're dead.
stuth186 7
At least they were only chasing you, you can't outrun a bullet
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Comments (177)
2ndSucks 15
I saw the words 'dared' and 'rep' then hit YDI.
ImnotHi 2
It never said he got away. Lol
krysxkatastrophe 14
So you're going to put yourself in danger to keep your reputation? Is it really worth it? Get new friends if you have to maintain a reputation to keep the ones you have!
vincespektor 0
That's a wet dream for me
JadedJarOfHearts 3
Why were you on my reservation in the first place?!?!
eastsidesoldier 7
U shoulda called me over I woulda tooken care of that :) mexican style
ikickgingers 15
Seems legit.
mdtdnb 7
I just like the fact you tried to act all tough and ended hittin a kid in the nuts with a football. lmao...priceless.
perdix 29
They probably just wanted to share their beer with you. A direct nutshot get mad propz in the hood. I hope they had high-quality, tasty beer and not swill like Bud Light.
FYLDeep 25
Hey, Bud Light ain't so bad. It has a tolerable taste, it will get you drunk if you drink enough of it, and it doesn't give you a hangover. There's plenty of worse beers you could drink, Natty Ice for example.
perdix 29
Maybe, but it's not Leinenkugel's or anything from New Glarus. Amirite, amirite or amirite?
FYLDeep 25
Leinenkugel's Oktoberfest beer is pretty damn good IMO. I haven't had much for some of the more pricey varieties of beer though.
post12 0
No you're not ******* right! Bud light is a nice lady! Treat her as such!
drawmesunshine 17
Bud Light is piss. I'd go for a Corona or a Fat Tire.
dontfmlplzzz 6
Corona is piss water
drawmesunshine 17
It's better than Bud Light.
slushpup9696 12
Root Beer, bitches.
FrankHotpants 31
Thugs are pretty bad but when they're bald, have no shirts, and don't eat carbs...then that's even worst.
liy223 6
Oh, that was you?!?!