Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
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Top comments
haw008 14
Your "rep" won't matter when you're dead.
stuth186 7
At least they were only chasing you, you can't outrun a bullet
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Comments (177)
purple91 8
Hey, you clearly survived and now have an awesome tale to tell for the rest of your life.
KiddNYC1O 20
Warriorrrs, come out to playyy...
TheNewGuy03 28
Apparently, your life also hung in the balance. |the kid|
TimysterGates 15
Here's an idea. You could've kicked it back normally. If you don't agree, look on the bright sideh: Running is GREAT for your shape, if you keep it up you might be a shirtless gangster yourself someday!
becky_becks 0
do what 22 said. it's foolproof!
Ecklcakes 15
If you had tried not being nice to little kids you wouldn't have ended up being chased by that kid's older brothers who were really just trying to give you back your wallet.
WadeWilson_fml 6
Skinheads huh, hot lol.
Torrey_Turner 12
They may not understand a rep but i do dont let them punk you
tiger_lover9428 0
Oregon has rough parts? Really? How bad does your rep have to be in Oregon to go in the rough part.
HomeAl0ne 20
You have to have at least been ticketed by the cops for crossing against the lights.
raymaster1103 6
Sexy