Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
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Top comments
haw008 14
Your "rep" won't matter when you're dead.
stuth186 7
At least they were only chasing you, you can't outrun a bullet
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Comments (177)
dansco 24
Good shot! Hitting a target that small lol
xgetxbentx 13
Your "rep" obviously isn't that great if whether or not you walked through a certain part of town determined the fate of it. You're pathetic, grow up.
PinkFun1969 9
You my man have got some talent running and texting at the sametime.;-)
rad_add13 0
Dating?? As in still dating??
jameyn 0
think of it as playing tag lmao
omarzrgz 3
Did u die?
thebluewizard 14
Being intelligent is better for the reputation.
pantherflb66 0
Fake.
evilmeister 1
The thugs I have dont chase you, they just shoot you. Be happy you didnt run into armed thugs.
jiralmancer 5
lies... there are no "rough" neighborhoods in Oregon or any thugs.